Setsuna Stands Up
by KAGEJASPER
Summary: If there was a side to you that you didn't understand, would you repress it or explore its potential? Setsuna faces that exact dilemma and is now feeling the pressure as repressing her hidden personality becomes harder. Perhaps it's for the best if she explores it instead? Rated T for language and occassional crude humor. For the sake of laughter and plot, there is OOC-ness.
1. Did you just say Ka-Kaw?

**Author's Note**:Hey guys! I'm here with my second fanfic ever made and I'll admit I'm a LITTE nervous about it. But I'll take a chance and let the reviews tell me if I'm doing something right with this one. I'll give everyone a heads up and say that the content is a lot more relaxed and less detailed than my other story, 'The Rain That Draws Us'. However, it should still be mostly grammatically correct and easy to read. I hope to get your honest opinion on this and please don't hold back on your criticism; it will help me in the long run! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Negima or any of its characters.

Now please, enjoy the story! XD

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Tokyo, Japan was famous worldwide for its fun attractions, exotic food, Anime, even just for the Japanese women. But there's one thing in particular that most people believe that Japan lacks. Americans never see any of this on television, tourists don't ever find locations in Japan that provide this kind of satisfying performance, and not too many Japanese people in general favor this kind of entertainment…That is, until that one, fateful Saturday night; when a girl from the shadows bravely stands on the stage and held that microphone with new found pride. Let's read about the story of this girl's discovered talent from the beginning of the week, shall we?

* * *

'_Ugh! That was just hell!'_ A very tired and worn out Setsuna thought as she entered her dorm room and crashed onto the nearest furniture. Luckily for her, that would be the couch. The swordswoman just returned from a daily training session at Evangeline's villa. That vampire started to get a little greedy with her 'pay' lately and it was finally starting to catch up with the Hanyou.

Setsuna couldn't put all the blame on her though; she's the one who asked for the training in order to sharpen her skills and protect the Konoe heiress better; but that doesn't mean she wasn't going to be a little sour about it. _'Man, Evangeline-San's gonna suck me dry. I don't think I even have a pint of blood left!'_ Setsuna thought in horror.

Suddenly, without the swordswoman's intention, she visualized herself with her wings spread and literally all of her blood sucked dry so that she looked slightly emaciated. _'Kami, I would look like an ostrich on crack!'_ Setsuna was about to grin widely at that thought but caught herself, _'Kami, I really need to stop with these childish thoughts'_ Setsuna scolded herself. She didn't like to think about such stupid things, it seemed unfit for a serious bodyguard of her caliber. Besides, people would think she's weird and a bit out there with the random comments that would just pop into Setsuna's head. Setsuna sighed and then stared at the ceiling in silence while trying to regain some of her energy.

"I really am weird, aren't I?" Setsuna asked no one in particular. She closed her eyes and decided now would be a good time as ever to have her daily dose of 'mental cleansing'. Setsuna has been doing this in secret ever since these thoughts appeared; in other words, for nearly a year now.

The Hanyou's 'mental cleansing' time is when she takes thirty to forty-five minutes of alone time and lets loose of all her 'weirdness'; as the girl would call it. This way, she won't feel as tempted to say or think anything unnecessary around anyone.

"…Pffft, an ostrich on crack! Polly wants a crack pipe?" Setsuna clasped a hand over her mouth and giggled at the pun. _'Yep, it's gonna be a long mental cleansing'_ the laughing girl thought…

* * *

"Hey Konoka-San" Asuna called out as she sat up from her bean bag and looked over into the kitchen. Konoka was currently in the process of cooking dinner for today. Without turning around from her work she responded.

"Yeah?"

"You know how Kazumi-San's throwing a party this Saturday?"

"Mhm" Konoka simply replied, too absorbed into her cooking to really pay any more than half attention to what Asuna was saying. It didn't matter since the red-head didn't seem to notice anyways.

"It might have to be cancelled." Asuna said, disheartened at the possibility of spending her Saturday doing nothing. This time Konoka actually turned to face Asuna with a disappointed pout.

"Awww, how come? I was really hoping to go, especially since I convinced Secchan to come too."

"She said that they don't have a form of entertainment for the party. Makie-San was supposed to do some gymnastic tricks but she ended up spraining her ankle yesterday."

"What about Ako-San? Isn't she in a band? Maybe they can play something at the party." Konoka suggested, but Asuna sadly shook her head at this.

"Nope, that won't work. Kazumi-San said that she wanted something different since we always use the band. Plus, the band hasn't even come up with any new songs lately; it'll be boring if they play the same songs over and over." Konoka nodded in understanding. Asuna was right; she didn't want to be rude or anything, but she's heard those songs so many times that she's already memorized all the words.

"We even tried asking Zazie-San." Asuna continued.

"But it turns out her schedule is booked this Saturday at the Nightmare Carnival, so she can't make it either." Asuna sighed and then fell back into her bean bag. Konoka sighed in defeat as well as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

"…Well…I'll make sure to keep on a lookout for anyone who can perform for the party. It's Monday, so we still have five days to find someone." Konoka said, trying to perk up the red-head's mood. Asuna lazily rolled her head in Konoka's direction.

"Yeah, I guess." Asuna retorted tiredly…

* * *

'_Twenty more minutes'_ Setsuna thought as she stared at the clock on her wall. She ran a hand through her currently untied hair; it's 'mental cleansing' time, so she might as well relax as much as she can.

This was starting to worry Setsuna; she was over half way done with her 'mental cleansing' but she still felt a lot of giddiness flowing through her. This was starting to happen more frequently too, but most of the time she just passed it off as the fatigue just getting to her.

She looked over at her dresser and saw her distant reflection in the mirror. She smirked and then examined her features in admiration. At any other time Setsuna wouldn't have bothered looking in a mirror, but now she felt a slightly cocky pride well up in her as she watched her reflection.

"Whoa, can I get a ka-kaw?" Setsuna joked as she imitated the sound of a crow and raised an eyebrow. That's when a really stupid question came to her mind.

"I wonder if that's the sound a crow would make during sex…ka-kAHHHH…." Setsuna attempted to make the sound out loud as if it was the most normal thing in the world to do. She then stared up at the ceiling in deep thought.

"Nahhh, it doesn't sound right. It's lacking something…more passion maybe?" Setsuna's gaze drifted back over to the clock and then realized her 'mental cleansing' ended five minutes ago. If Konoka was there right at that moment, she would have melted from the cute pout Setsuna was making.

"Awww, my time's up already?" Setsuna sighed and then picked up her hairband from the coffee table. She wrapped her hair up into her original side pony tail and then straightened up her clothes to look neater. That's when a sudden realization donned on her; she just returned from training with Evangeline, so she's probably sweaty and needed to take a shower.

Setsuna quickly shifted her gaze around the room as if she was checking to make sure no one was looking, which was unneeded since she was alone, and then quickly stole a whiff from the inside of her collar. She smelled a little musky…

* * *

Tuesday morning came around and Setsuna was currently getting herself dressed in her school uniform. After making sure everything was in place and she had her Yuunagi on the side of her waist, the currently stoic bodyguard made her usual route to her Ojou-Sama's dorm.

As she was walking through the halls, she could easily notice that passing students would suddenly tense up as they walked past her and never looked in her direction. Of course, Setsuna didn't blame them. She's a bodyguard and had to keep up that image, so it was only natural that she would give off an intimidating and unfriendly aura.

Setsuna always did wonder from time to time though; what it would be like if she acted the opposite, like her weird self around others? _'Would it be better than this? But…then I won't be taken seriously as a bodyguard…and I might start slacking off with protecting Konocha-I mean Ojou-Sama…damn, I'm slipping up already!' _Setsuna thought. She knew it would be a risky thing to do, practically a million possibilities ran through her mind; and most of them didn't turn out too well. _'What if everyone thinks I'm a weirdo? What if…Konoka Ojou-Sama thinks I'm a weirdo?'_ The troubled swordswoman felt devastated by that thought. She couldn't imagine handling the idea of Konoka ridiculing her for her odd and bizarre hidden personality.

Setsuna shoved those thoughts away when she saw a particular dorm room number within her sight. Before politely knocking on the door like she always does, Setsuna took a second to herself to make one hundred percent sure that her unusual behavior was stored away within her subconscious. After waiting thirty seconds for a stupid pun to pop up in her head but thought of none, Setsuna decided it was finally safe to knock.

However…the door swung open before Setsuna's knuckles met the hard surface; and what was on the other side wasn't much of an unusual sight for the protector.

It was Setsuna's fellow classmate and good friend, Asuna with a flailing little red-head boy thrown over her shoulder.

"Asuna-Saaaannnnn! We don't have time for a bath; class will be starting in less than thirty minutes!" Negi whined in protest as he tried to wiggle free of the girl's grasp.

"I don't want to hear it! We can take a quick bath and then run to class; you forgot to bathe last night and you smell musky! Now be a good brat and-oh hey Setsuna-San!" Asuna's mood immediately switched gears when she saw the said girl standing merely a foot away from her with her fist still raised. Setsuna blinked in half amusement and half confusion at the red-head's 'motherly' tendencies and then quickly dropped her hand back to her side.

"H-hello, Asuna-San, is Ojou-Sama ready?" Setsuna asked in a serious, yet fake, tone. Asuna smirked knowingly at the bodyguard, causing Setsuna to unconsciously blush from the attention.

"W-what?" The swordswoman stuttered.

"Oh, nothing~ .I was just thinking that…" Asuna wrapped an arm around the flustered girl's shoulders.

"You always seem ready to walk Konoka-San to class…every, single, time. And you're always exactly on time…that's some determination there~." Asuna teased as her grin grew wider at Setsuna's blush that was turning even redder.

"W-what are y-you trying to say Asuna-s-san?" Setsuna cursed inwardly for stuttering so much, for showing emotional weakness is not very bodyguard like.

"What I'm saying is that you always seem…eager to be by Konoka-San's side, and not just because it's your job either~." Asuna cooed as she tightened her arm around Setsuna and began to chuckle teasingly. The amount of blood rushing to Setsuna's cheeks nearly doubled as the red-head came dangerously close to hitting the flustered girl right where it hurts.

"I don't know what you mean." Setsuna blurted, praying to the gods that Asuna wouldn't pry any further. _'Please Kami-Sama, help me out! I'll pray every night before I go to bed, I'll donate money to end world hunger, I'll even massage your spiritual feet with golden skin cream!'_ Setsuna grimaced inwardly with that last declaration, _'okay, maybe not golden skin cream, I can only afford the regular kind'_ Setsuna quickly added. Unfortunately, Kami-Sama wasn't swayed by the temptation.

"You know what I mean Setsuna-San~. When are you gonna hurry up and just tell princess that you love her already?" Asuna asked eagerly; not exactly eager to hear Setsuna's answer since she knew she wouldn't get one, she was eager to see the flustered guardian's reaction. Asuna wasn't left disappointed either. Setsuna's face exploded into scarlet red as she frantically waved her arms around.

"I-I-I-I-I d-don't, I-I mean i-it's inappropriate for s-someone a-as lowly as I!" Setsuna stuttered; right now, even Porky Pig had nothing on the babbling guardian.

"Ummmm, guys?" Negi interrupted, still hopelessly hanging over Asuna's shoulder.

"Ah, that's right; we gotta hurry before class starts!" Asuna shouted before adjusting her grip on the poor child teacher.

"Y-yes, we should hurry before-"

"Right after you take a quick bath!"

"Nooooo!" Negi shouted in despair as Asuna ran towards the showers in her inhuman athletic speed. Setsuna stared at the trail of smoke the speedy red-head left behind and then whispered to herself.

"Meep, meep…" Setsuna would never admit that she used to watch Looney Tunes in her spare time as a child. She swiftly shook her head, _'no! I can't think about stupid things right now!'_ After strengthening her resolve, Setsuna walked into the dorm room to find Konoka fully dressed and waiting for her protector. Setsuna was about to politely greet the chocolate haired girl but soon found her body falling backwards with Konoka's arms wrapped around her neck; she was falling.

"Secchan!"

THUMP!

"O-o-o-o-o-ojou, Ojou-sa-sa-sa-sama!" Setsuna stuttered as Konoka continued to cuddle her flustered swordswoman. The excited princess sat up from her hug and then propped herself up on her elbows. She stared in amusement at Setsuna trying to fidget and escape from under her.

"Awww, what's wrong Secchan? You don't like my hugs anymore~?" Konoka cooed as she leaned back down and wrapped her arms back around Setsuna's neck; their bodies pressed together. Now it was really becoming too much for the blushing girl, Setsuna was reaching her limit.

"K-k-k-k-ka-ka-ka" Setsuna choked out, her mouth and mind competing against each other. Her mind is screaming, pleading, that her mouth would at least sputter something a little bit coherent. But her tongue was failing her, _'please Kami, show mercy, please Kami, show mercy, please Kami, show mercy!'_ Konoka raised an eyebrow in amusement and a bit in happy anticipation; it almost sounded like her guardian was trying to say her nickname Konochan.

"Ka-kaw!" Setsuna blurted and then immediately clasped her hand over her mouth in shock.

"…" Konoka stared at the embarrassed girl in silence; her facial expression unreadable and boring into Setsuna's eyes.

"…Secchan…why did you say ka-kaw?"

"…"

"…Secchan?"

"…We should get to class Ojou-Sama…before we're late."

"O-okay…?" Konoka stuttered; not exactly sure what just happened…

* * *

_'Damn, damn, damn!'_ Setsuna shouted in her head. The devastated bodyguard was sitting at her desk and resting her head in her arms, not even reacting to the rowdy girls of 3-A; who were causing the usual fiascos around her. How could she though? She just embarrassed herself in front of someone, and even worse than that, in front of Konoka, _'screw you Kami, you can forget the foot rub now!'_ Setsuna thought spitefully but then immediately regretted it; it was childish to blame someone else for her slip up and that even includes Kami. Setsuna sighed loudly but was muffled since her face was still buried in her arms. _'Kami, I just know Konoc-I mean…Ojou-Sama…thinks I'm some weirdo now!'_

Cautiously, Setsuna sat up in her seat and looked over her shoulder to steal a glance of her chocolate haired princess; she immediately snapped her head back around. Setsuna's eyes were wide with confirmed fear and glued to the wall a few meters ahead of her. Turns out Konoka was staring intensely at her swordswoman; feeling suspicious about that 'ka-kaw' incident from earlier.

She didn't try to be discrete about it either; which made Asuna notice the odd tension going on between the two best friends. Asuna leaned over her desk and then whispered down to her roommate.

"Psst! Hey, Konoka-San, why're you staring down Setsuna-San…and why is she acting all tense? Did you guys get in a fight or something?"

"…" Konoka was so focused on the back of Setsuna's head that Asuna's voice hadn't even fully registered in her brain yet. Asuna rolled her eyes and tried again.

"Oi, Konoka-San."

"…" Still nothing. Soon, a vein began to pulsate on the red-head's forehead.

"Konoka-San!" Asuna shouted nearly centimeters away from the distracted princess's ear.

"…" Still nothing. Asuna's heterochromatic eyes narrowed as she huffed and leaned back into her seat. It took a lot of effort and spirit, but the red-head decided to do the unthinkable…think.

Asuna forced the little gears in her head to turn as she sat in her seat; arms crossed and eyes squinting in deep focus. She then started to grind her teeth as the process turned out to be harder than she thought. _'Kami! I know I'm a Baka Ranger and everything…but this is just ridiculous!'_ The red-head thought heatedly. A few more moments of Asuna valiantly fighting her stubborn brain passed by and she was now starting to suggest giving up.

Then, as if a generous deity from above showed pity upon the girl, an idea finally came to Asuna. _'Shopping! Konoka-San shops like a middle-aged mother does extreme couponing!'_ Asuna gave herself an imaginary pat on the back with a prideful grin spread across her face.

"Hey Konoka-San have you been to that mall that's…."

Then she looked down to see a pair of curious brown eyes staring back at her; Konoka's eyes. But if someone started grinding their teeth and mumbling angrily under their breath behind you, then even Konoka was bound to turn around and face the source of noise questioningly.

"…How long..." Asuna whispered gravely; her left eye twitching in preparation for what she was sure was about to come next. The Konoe princess blinked innocently at Asuna's tense attitude and then said.

"The teeth grinding"

WHAM!

Asuna's face met her desk in a split second, _'I risked my life here and this is what I get?!'_ Maybe that deity wasn't so generous after all. Konoka sweat dropped as tears began to fall from Asuna's eyes like waterfalls, _'was it something I said?'_ Konoka wondered.

"Ummm, Asuna-San…are you okay?" The chocolate haired girl asked worriedly. Asuna hiccupped a few times before raising her teary eyes to Konoka; Konoka cringed inwardly and then conveniently pulled a handkerchief out of nowhere.

"Eh?" Asuna muttered as she eyed the offered handkerchief. Konoka smiled warmly.

"You've got a runny nose Asuna-San." That was all the red head needed to know before gladly accepting the hankie and blowing her nose clean; her cheeks flustered all the while.

"I-I'll clean it and return it to you later." Asuna said embarrassingly as she slipped the dirtied hankie into her skirt pocket.

"It's okay Asuna-San. I've got plenty more with me anyways." Konoka reassured casually. Asuna eyed the bubbly princess suspiciously, _'where did she pull that hankie from anyway?'_ The red head decided it'd be best not to question the illogical.

"Why were you staring so hard at Setsuna-San? Did you guys argue about something?"

"Oh…well…" Konoka trailed off reluctantly. She wasn't sure if she wanted to really tell anyone about what happened between her and Setsuna this morning. Asuna was a really good friend and everything, but Konoka knows that Setsuna wouldn't hear the end of it from the teasing red head if she spilled the news to her. The Konoe heiress didn't want to put Setsuna through that; at least not until she confronted the swordswoman about it first.

"Err…Secchan wouldn't stop calling me Ojou-Sama. But we've got it taken care of, so there's no need to worry about it Asuna-San." Konoka lied. The chocolate haired girl felt a pang of guilt in her gut from lying to her roommate, but it had to be done.

"Eh? That's it? I would've figured it'd be over something bigger than that." Asuna said skeptically as she eyed a now fidgeting Konoka. The princess already lied one time; she didn't want to do it twice in the same hour or to the same person for that matter. So, instead of lying, Konoka tried to swiftly change the subject.

"You know, I was planning on baking a cake today-"

"What kind?" Asuna immediately interrupted as she leaned towards the smiling mage princess, _'got her.'_

"A chocolate fudge cake with…"

"With…" Asuna urged eagerly, _'please say strawberries, please say strawberries, please say strawberries!'_

"…Strawberries."

"Yatta!" Asuna shouted in celebration to the heavens with her arms thrown up in almighty praise. Konoka stared up in awe as a white light pleasantly beamed down on her roommate and encompassed her with glittering sparkles.

"…Wow…"

Setsuna, including everyone else in the classroom, gawked at the scene in still silence. '_What the hell… just happened?'_ The Hanyou pondered numbly…

* * *

The bell for the end of fourth block chimed loudly, automatically signaling Setsuna to swiftly put away her school supplies. The swordswoman was usually one of the last students to leave, but considering the awkward moment that she and Konoka shared this morning, Setsuna wasn't going to take any chances. To simply put it, the samurai was high tailing her ass out of there.

A specific mage princess was just about to approach Setsuna too, only to realize with disappointment that she had already left. Konoka stared thoughtfully at her best friend's empty seat and then at the classroom door, _'Something's off here… and Secchan's been acting really weird lately.'_ The Konoe heir pensively placed a finger to her lips; continuing to stand next to Setsuna's desk and ignoring her passing classmates' quizzical glances.

"You're spacing out again."

"Kyah!" Konoka unconsciously delivered a swift, sideways chop to the individual's abdomen.

"Gah! S-son of a biscuit!" Asuna wailed in stunned pain as she doubled over and cradled her assaulted stomach in her arms. Upon realizing her mistake, Konoka gasped softly before rubbing her roommate's back frantically.

"G-gomen Asuna-San! Are you okay?" Abruptly standing straight and inhaling massive gulps of air, which indirectly surprised the Konoe heiress, Asuna turned a baffled stare to Konoka.

"When the hell-(gasp)-did you learn to use-(gasp)-a Bruce Lee karate chop?!"

"Secchan taught me some self-defense." Konoka answered with a warm smile as she shortly reminisced on the training sessions; Setsuna instructing the mage princess's movements with charming determination and gentleness. She remembered those days clearly; the way Setsuna's casual exercise attire teasingly revealed skin, the way her thin yet strong shoulders tempted Konoka's fingertips to brush against them, the way her flat abs rippled subtly under the cotton fabric, the way her freed bangs would sway handsomely across her eyebrows, the way her intense onyx orbs would gleam with tenderness towards the chocolate haired princess, the way her rarely coy and sexy smirk graced those kissable lips-

"Bird brain taught you that?!" Asuna guffawed in disbelief. Konoka blinked rapidly; attempting to comprehend what dirty road her thoughts seemed to have been traveling down.

"What's she trying to do, turn you into a cheerful killing machine?!" Without replying, Konoka immediately began to pace for the exit, intent on hiding her flushed cheeks from Asuna. The red-head in question quirked an eyebrow while following the suddenly silent princess.

"Hey, why're you all quiet all of a sudden? Was it something I said?" Asuna's features slowly softened with friendly concern, genuinely worried that she may have unintentionally hurt her friend's feelings. Konoka, now sure that her blush had subsided, took notice of the small guilt infecting the red-head's features. The Konoe heiress sighed before retaining her signature broad smile once again.

"N-no, I was just, uh, distracted." Although Konoka was hoping to reassure the red head in a nonchalant tone, her voice evidently shook with sheepish anxiety. Sheepishness and anxiety was a killer combo in Asuna's 'Big Book of Teasing'. With the triggering combination detected, words that many Mortal Kombat fans would know echoed mischievously in Asuna's mind: _'Finish her!'_

"Oh-ho~ Distracted, huh? I wonder by whom…" Asuna's leer widened upon witnessing Konoka's shoulders tense ever so subtly.

"I-It isn't that big of a deal Asuna-San-"

"Now who could possibly be running through our little princess's fantasies, hmmmmm?" As Asuna dragged along her humming, she repeatedly nudged her right shoulder against Konoka's own without breaking either girl's walking stride. The mage princess bravely relented against Asuna's prodding however.

"N-no one, Asuna-San."

"No one huh?"

"Yep, no one."

"No one?"

"That's right."

"Seriously, no one?"

"Correct."

"Setsuna-San?"

"Yep."

"Really? Setsuna-San?"

"I couldn't be more sure."

"One hundred percent sure?"

"One hundred and fifty percent sure!"

"Oh…okay." Asuna finished contently as the two calmly continued to stroll together.

A beat of silence.

Konoka choked mercilessly on air as her entire face burned light burgundy.

"N-no wait I take it back!" Asuna scoffed before triumphantly pointing an accusatory finger at her panicking roommate.

"No take backs!" Konoka's jaw must've held a nasty grudge against Mahora Academy's floor-work, because it had hit the marbled surface in under a second. Stuttering, babbling, stammering, fumbled mumbling, and everything in between were the only sounds escaping the defeated mage princess. Appointing the flamboyant aura of a haughty lumberjack, Asuna placed her fists on her hips and threw her head back; laughing loudly in all her mocking glory.

"Hahahah! I knew it! Don't screw with the quick wits of a Baka Ranger!" Konoka's cheeks bulged into a heavy pout before promptly strutting away; her fists swinging briskly at her sides. Asuna cooed teasingly at the sight as she skipped behind the Konoe heiress. If Asuna Kagurazake was performing the frilly acts of skipping, then she was indeed enjoying herself to a significant extent.

"Awww, don't be so upset Konoka-San! I'm only joking-"

"A Baka Ranger's quick wits, huh?" Konoka suddenly interjected as a sly and disturbingly dark grin crept across her feminine features. Defying the laws and logics of science, Asuna halted in mid-skip with her form momentarily frozen in air, before gently dropping to her feet and paling at the creepily unusual sight.

"U-uh, I mean, i-it was a joke ya know? S-since a Baka Ranger is a b-baka and then…th-then the uh…q-quick wits-"

"I know that I said I was going to make a chocolate fudge cake with strawberries earlier," Konoka started casually as she stared to the ceiling and tapped her chin contemplatively.

Asuna's breath caught in her throat, _'Konoka-San…you wouldn't…'_

"But…now that I'm actually starting to think about it, my arm has been a bit sore lately." The mage princess feigned an aching expression as she rolled her arm.

Asuna's heartbeat quickened with panic, _'No…No, she wouldn't stoop that low! Only a monster would!'_

With a content and bubbly smile, the Konoe heiress turned to face her suddenly feeble-looking friend and declared effortlessly.

"I just won't make it after all! All that baking would stress out my poor arm…Good thing I used my common sense and _**quick wits**_ to make such a wise decision; right, Asuna-San?" With an expectant eye, Konoka awaited the twin-tailed girl's response; her smile never faltering all the while.

"…"

Asuna, unlike how Konoka had predicted, did not crumble into a sobbing heap over the tragic loss of her most cherished dessert. Her body remained rigid and stared lifelessly ahead of her with dull green and blue eyes. The only sign of emotion Asuna gave was a single, bitter tear comically rolling down her suddenly boney cheeks. All in all, the red haired sweets lover had metaphorically died inside.

Konoka sweat dropped. _'W-whoa…I didn't think it would affect her so much.'_ Inconspicuously retrieving yet another clean handkerchief from Kami-knows-where, the mage princess wiped away the tear with a playful smile plastered across her face. Just as Konoka's lips parted to speak, Asuna robotically turned her gaze to the left and adorned a forlorn countenance.

"I just want to let you know…that before I die, to tell Negi-San something for me…" Greatly confused by the red head's words, Konoka simply nodded for her to continue. Heavily plopping a hand on the heiress's shoulder, Asuna muttered in an extremely grave tone.

"Tell Negi-San…not to touch the left over cake I've got stashed in the back of the fridge, it has my name on it."

A beat of silence.

Another beat of silence.

A groan of defeat.

"Alright, I'll make the cake! Just enough with the death jokes…it's creepy!" Konoka pleaded with a shudder. Right fist skyrocketing to the sky and smile widening beyond belief, Asuna exclaimed jubilantly.

"Yatta!" A beam of white light and glimmering sparkles engulfed the twin-tailed student; instantly provoking a sense of déjà vu for Konoka, who couldn't help but mutter.

"Again…wow." After descending the victorious, imaginary steps of baka glory, Asuna regained a neutral expression; pretending as if the decease and revival of her soul had never even transpired.

"Welp, let's go." Konoka sweat dropped once more with a crooked smile, but made no attempt to complain about it and began walking again. The atmosphere between the two friends seemed almost completely replenished too…How unfortunate that Asuna felt the need to voice her musings yet again.

"But seriously, you are going to make that cake, right?"

"Of course I am." Konoka replied automatically; having a feeling of where this conversation was going.

"Are you sure?" Konoka knew it.

"Yep"

"Really?"

"You bet"

"You're not joking?"

"I'm not"

"You're one hundred percent sure?"

"Two hundred percent sure" At times, their interactions were elegantly idiotic in its own, friendly right…

* * *

There once lived three little pigs. One lived in a hut built out of straw, the second lived in a hut built out of sticks, and the third lived in a sensible brick house. However, the Big Bad Wolf blew down the first two little pigs' houses because he was unfortunately having a bad day. The wolf's day became even sourer however as he failed to destroy the third little pig's brick house. Soon after admitting defeat, the wolf huffed to himself in disappointment, thoroughly convinced that his life was wholly unfair. As soon as he inwardly declared this with a grunting nod; Setsuna appeared out of thin air, glared at the wolf, and slapped him silly before rambling angrily: "You think you have problems?! I just made myself look like an idiot in front of my best friend and now she's got her eyes glued on me like beef on curry! So you didn't get your daily dose of protein; big deal! Man up wolf!"

'…_I don't think the mental cleansing is working anymore.'_ Setsuna realized dryly as she pulled out of her subconscious-not to mention screwy-imagination without breaking her hasty retreat down the dorm halls. It seems that her bubbling frustration was finally starting to manifest itself in the form of fairy tale parodies…Perfect, just perfect. Too absorbed with her panic to realize; Setsuna quickly paced by fellow school guardian, Mana Tatsumiya.

Instead of adorning the traditional Mahora uniform, Mana was dressed casually in a deep auburn leather jacket; clearly worn to handle the slightly gusty weather. Underneath the jacket was a simple, dark crimson shirt with a v-neck; succeeding to compliment the gunslinger's black skinny jeans and sneakers effortlessly. Cocking her head subtly to the right with a faintly curious expression, Mana asked amusingly.

"What's the hurry, Setsuna-San?" At first, the shrine maiden had figured Setsuna didn't hear her at all, but began to have second thoughts as the Hanyou halted with her back facing Mana. An awkward moment of silence-although Mana was sure Setsuna was the only individual feeling awkward-until it was shattered by the bodyguard's deep sigh. Pivoting sharply on her heel, Setsuna turned to face Mana and finally registered her friend's casual outfit.

"Are you planning to go out somewhere, Mana-San?" Even though she expressed no signs of it, Mana was somewhat irked that Setsuna had answered her question with another. She saw no harm in being the first to throw out an appropriate reply though.

"Yeah, I'm about to head over to Bust a Gut and see if anyone who's actually funny shows up." Her previous worries momentarily blown to oblivion, Setsuna gazed upon Mana as if the woman had grown a second head.

"…What in the hell is Bust a Gut?" Attempting to-or perhaps effortlessly-ignore Setsuna's bafflement, Mana placed her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket before stating nonchalantly.

"You know, a comedy house for stand-up comedians to perform and tell jokes-"

"You like jokes?!" Setsuna interjected in flabbergasted disbelief. Mana rolled her eyes in exasperation; she had a feeling that the Hanyou-scratch that-everyone would assume such a thing about her.

"Yes, like most human beings I do enjoy a good laugh every now and again."

"W-well I mean-it's just that you don't exactly…laugh…much." The more Setsuna began to listen to the words stumbling out of her mouth, the more she wished she didn't have the ability to speak. The conversation just seemed to keep rolling downhill.

Mana directed a deadpanned visage at Setsuna.

"Oh, well maybe that's because it takes a lot to amuse me?" The sarcasm oozing from the gunslinger's tone was so palpable, that Setsuna could practically grip it in her bare hands. The Hanyou cleared her throat nervously.

"S-so…guess I shouldn't hold you up any longer then-"

"Want to come? Entry is free today." Mana suddenly offered monotonously. Setsuna's eyebrows flew up.

"You're inviting me?" It was at that moment that the Hanyou finally detected some form of positive emotion ebbing into her friend's tan features: impishness.

"I figured you'd need to do something to relax your senses a little…I mean, after the way Konoka-San had been staring at you the entire class period today-" Setsuna flinched.

"And after seeing how you ran out the room like it was doomsday, it's safe to say that you need to take a mental breather." The swordswoman's posture deflated with mock shame while muttering with a chuckle.

"Am I that readable?"

"Like a big red stop sign. So are you coming or not?" Before she even finished the question, Mana had already proceeded down the halls for the building exit. Setsuna shifted her indecisive gaze between the shrine maiden's retreating back and her distant room door. _'Well…I did run out of there for a reason…and there's no way in hell that I could deal with explaining that 'ka-kaw' thing to Konoka Oujo-Sama right now!' _With that terrifyingly true conclusion sealed, Setsuna began jogging after the gunslinger.

"O-Oi, Mana-San; wait up!"…

* * *

Alrighty! That's all for now! I'll admit that I did have a lot of fun writing this chapter! X3

But anyways, it would be really great if I got your honest opinions in the reviews as I really am trying out something that I don't see a lot of in Negima fics. So I thought I'd be brave and try it out myself. What exactly is it that I'm bravely trying out, you ask? I'm not telling. You'll just have to find out in later chapters.

That is another thing I must bring up. The chapters for this story will not be updated that quickly, as I'm also focusing on my other story. But I WILL finish this, no matter what. Okay, I believe I've rambled enough.

So I ask of you...please. CLICK THE REVIEW BUTTON -.-


	2. Setsuna The Heckler?

**Author's Note:**Wow! I got the second chapter out a lot faster than I thought! I think that's a new record for me! O.o'

I think this fic is just a way for me to not lose my handling on writing since I've currently got a bit of writer's block on my other story, 'The Rain That Draws Us'. So maybe, just maybe, this will be updated SOMEWHAT quickly; but I'm not promising anything.

Disclaimer: I do not own Negima or any of its characters.

Now, with the boring stuff out of the way, I'll let you read the chapter! Please tell me what you think in the reviews! Enjoy the chapter! :D

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"Honestly…the place looks a bit smaller than I expected." Setsuna admitted as she craned her neck to stare up at the sign reading Bust a Gut Comedy House. Mana shrugged indifferently at the observation.

"Hey, I never said the place was that popular. Like I said before, I'm just coming in hopes that someone funny will show up today." Sweeping her vision across the simple, single door entrance, Setsuna began to wonder if she really would have a good time at the seemingly small establishment.

Surrounding the tall yet narrow glass door were beige painted walls littered with hair-line cracks; evidence of how old the building must've been. The swordswoman could peer through the glass and vaguely notice the array of tables and leather matted seats; the smooth material appeared worn out and subtly torn however.

"So you're saying this place doesn't get much business?" It was the second time today that Setsuna received a deadpan expression from Mana.

"So you're saying nothing but obvious stuff today?" Something within the hind corners of Setsuna's mind jolted at the snarky remark; as if she had something to say in response. The Hanyou refused to acknowledge it though, as she was sure that it had something to do with her bizarre hidden personality.

Such a shame that Setsuna was better at repressing her thoughts than the actual words.

"Sure, why not? The sky's blue and the sun is shining brilliantly." The heavy doses of sarcasm had coated her words so expertly, that Setsuna had to pause a moment just to be extra sure that it was indeed her that said it. Mana arched an eyebrow at the half-demon's unexpectedly witty comment; as the weather actually consisted of gray clouds and gentle winds.

Silence ensued between the two guardians; Setsuna gawking ahead of her in speechless disbelief and Mana eyeing the Hanyou with an amused gaze.

"Since when did you get a smart mouth?" The gunslinger enquired with a faint chuckle. As if to further fuel the unusualness of the moment, Setsuna finally regained some of her senses and delivered an innocent shrug of her shoulders.

"Hey, you said to state the obvious." Without tearing her gaze away from Setsuna, Mana wordlessly pointed her index finger skyward.

"We're looking at the same sky, right?"

"We both know what sarcasm means, right?" Now Mana's entire brow shifted upward; just who the hell was this and what has she done with the real Setsuna Sakurazaki?

Mana wasn't the only one doing all the pondering. _'Why the hell did I just say that?!'_ Setsuna had really thought her mouth was shut tight, but then it started flapping away like a chicken. The Hanyou couldn't deny one notion however…Even if it only lasted a few moments, Setsuna had actually enjoyed herself. It wasn't everyday-okay, Setsuna admits, never-that the swordswoman could outmatch Mana in a verbal stand-off.

A skeptic breath in the form of a chortle fleeted from the shrine maiden.

"Wow…maybe this place has tainted you already."

"You say that like I'm a piece of meat-"

"Okay" Mana interrupted sternly as she patted Setsuna's shoulder.

"I think that's enough lip out of you." With a gentle shove towards the door-not to mention Setsuna momentarily stumbling from the sudden force-the two friends entered Bust a Gut Comedy House.

Standing behind the front counter and casually shining it with a towel was a middle-aged man; the mop of brown hair atop his head lined with gray strands and frizzed slightly. The thickly built male wore a casual white t-shirt and faded blue jeans; as it was his usual outfit for attending Bust a Gut. He turned his fatherly gazed upwards to spot his favorite regular customer approaching with an unfamiliar young lady by her side.

"Ah Mana-San! Glad to see that you could make it tonight!" Mana cracked the smallest of a smirk before answering smoothly.

"What made you think I wouldn't, Jiro-San?" Jiro shrugged sheepishly with a small, gap-toothed smile.

"What can I say? Business has been so slow here that I figured you would eventually stop coming too…So, who's your shy friend over here?" Setsuna's posture stiffened as she finally locked her vision with the large brunette.

"O-oh, um, my name's Setsuna. It's a pleasure to meet you, Jiro-San." To add icing on top of the proverbial cake, Setsuna swiftly did a small bow; her onyx orbs respectfully never leaving Jiro's amused ones. The comedy house employee gave a low whistle before chuckling deeply.

"Well, nice to meet you too, Setsuna-San. But are you sure this is the right place for you? I haven't heard such a polite greeting since my last job interview!" Setsuna's cheeks flushed-the Hanyou couldn't pinpoint whether it was from embarrassment or offense-and was just about to retort when Mana added confidently.

"Oh I wouldn't judge her just yet, Jiro-San. This kid can have a quick mouth on her when she wants to."

"Oh really?" Jiro drawled with intrigue as he gazed curiously at Setsuna. At first, the bodyguard shifted her eyes about in an attempt to glue her vision on something else, but failed miserably as they eventually latched onto Jiro's dark auburn stare. Setsuna found no comfort in the fact that Jiro was gaining a hilarious kick out of watching the Hanyou squirm from the attention. Suddenly, much to Setsuna's relief, Jiro turned sharply to face Mana with a quizzical expression.

"So I'm guessing Setsuna-San here just came right after class?" Mana briefly glanced in Setsuna's direction before recognition gleamed in her eyes. Setsuna was still dressed in her school uniform.

"Oh yeah…Well, I'll make sure she's dressed more casually next time around." The swordswoman raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"What? Does this place have a dress code too?"

"And there goes the smart mouth." Mana stated in mock exasperation with a roll of her eyes. Setsuna narrowed her orbs warningly at the gunslinger, who just scoffed indifferently at the sight. Jiro, who hadn't missed a second of the girls' interactions, chuckled once more before stepping out from behind the counter and waving his hand dismissively.

"Nah, there's no dress code here. But this place isn't exactly of high standard, if you know what I mean. Customers here usually show up in some shirt and jeans, that's all…So, how about I show you and your friend here to the best seat in the house?" Setsuna simply nodded as Mana revealed a pleased grin.

"It's about time you asked, Jiro-San." Setsuna had to stop herself from questioning Mana's lack of manners, as she was sure that it wasn't her place to do so. _'Calm down Setsuna, this place is laid back so you've got to be laid back.'_ Fortunately, the Hanyou's mental chiding went unnoticed as Jiro lead them to a table for two located decently close to a small stage.

Miniscule lights were aligned along the edge of the stage floor but had done little to actually illuminate its surroundings. They were established more for decorative purposes than anything. Painted across the back-drop wall was the stereotypical view of a city at midnight with the words Bust a Gut Comedy House hovering across the top in yellow, bold letters. Either sides of the stage, which Setsuna assumed lead to the backstage area, were closed off by surprisingly elegant red curtains. The right side of the stage branched off to a small set of steps that assumedly comedians used to exit. A single spotlight beamed down on a lone microphone stand presented on center stage; the golden head of the device shining charmingly in the brightness.

"You girls gonna order something tonight?" Jiro asked as Mana and Setsuna seated themselves; the Hanyou in particular taking an extra moment to force her vision away from the stage.

"Just get me the usual." Mana requested calmly before turning to face Setsuna.

"Before you even say anything, let's make it clear that I'm not paying for your stuff." The bodyguard's right eyebrow twitched but forced a painfully sweet grin to grace her face.

"Oh, don't worry; I wouldn't assume such a _**preposterous**_ thing." Mana attempted to mimic the swordswoman's expression; which resulted in an unnatural smile that would've made a cat chasing a dog appear more normal.

"Glad we're on the same page." Setsuna's smirk widened subtly; squeezing every last ounce of cynicism into the action as she possibly could while tilting her head to the right. The gunslinger's cheeks puffed slightly as she made a light effort to repress her chuckles. Jiro blinked dumbly at the two girls; trying to process the viscous waves of friendly-that part was questionable-rivalry emanating off of them. Nervously cracking his gap-toothed smile once again, Jiro interjected sheepishly.

"Ummm, I hate to interrupt you two but I still need an order from Setsuna-San here before the show starts." Setsuna clearly heard Jiro's suggestion, but a stubborn part of her brain-which presented itself many times around Mana-just wouldn't allow the Hanyou to break off her challenging stare. The shrine maiden's feelings mirrored Setsuna's own perfectly and had neither girls refusing to give in and answer Jiro.

"You gonna answer the man?" Mana muttered with a placid expression.

"I'm not losing this stand-off." Setsuna grumbled back with a vein slowly pulsing on her forehead. Jiro sweat dropped, _'this is the craziest pair of friends I've ever seen…'_

"Well, neither am I." Mana replied as her stern gaze hardened even further. Setsuna was just about to strengthen her determined glare as well before a funny idea surfaced in her mind.

"Fine…I'll just look away then." Mana was silent at first as her stare turned skeptical; for as long as Mana had known Setsuna, she was sure that the Hanyou wouldn't lose so willingly. The tan gunslinger watched as Setsuna casually turned away and stated with false-well, Mana believed it to be false-confidence.

"I'll just have a medium sprite, Jiro-San." Immensely relieved that the quarrel was over, Jiro winked cheekily at his two customers.

"Got it; the usual for Mana-San and a medium sprite for the young lady! I'll be right back." Mana sent a half-hearted glare at Jiro's retreating back, _'what, suddenly only Setsuna-San is a young lady now?'_ The half-demon in question continued to smile proudly to herself; which had no doubt irked the gunslinger who couldn't restrain herself from commenting.

"I never thought I'd see the day that you would back down. What's wrong…you can't take me on anymore?" Haughty smirk never faltering, Setsuna giggled lowly to herself and stated nonchalantly.

"Oh, I didn't give up, I just knew you would look away if I did first…I mean, you know the common principle these days." Mana quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

"What principle?" A tiny, victorious smirk spread across Setsuna's lips.

"You know what they say…Monkey see, monkey do." Mana's mouth fluttered in an attempt to throw out a comeback, but her voice failed her; shortly aghast at the realization that the Hanyou had cleverly called her a monkey.

"…Screw you" She muttered under her breath in a slightly defeated tone.

"I'm flattered Mana-San, but sorry. You aren't my type." This was the sweetest revenge Setsuna had ever experienced, _'and revenge has never tasted so good~'_ A dull giddiness rumbled from the pit of her stomach and coursed gently throughout her entire body. Setsuna couldn't make heads or tails about what exactly was happening to her, but had immediately decided that she was enjoying it greatly. The Hanyou had never felt so emotionally free before, and to think she was honored with the wonderful sensation just because she loosened the chains a bit on her weird personality.

A meek, yet attention grabbing applause echoed throughout the comedy parlor as Jiro promptly stepped onto the stage and grabbed the microphone from its stand.

"Good evening everyone!" He greeted enthusiastically into the golden microphone. Setsuna studied Jiro's relaxed body language curiously and-surprising even herself at the notion-couldn't help but feel envy gnaw persistently at her soul.

"I'd like to once again thank you all for coming tonight! Sticking true to our name, I can guarantee everyone will end up busting a gut tonight with laughter! Now, I think it's about time I shut up and introduce our first guest, ne?" Scattered chuckles resounded from the small crowd behind the school guardians; although Setsuna could tell that the laughter wasn't genuine at all. _'Kami, is everyone in here always this depressing?'_ The Hanyou could tell that Jiro half expected the response however as he proceeded the introduction without even flinching.

"Alright! Give a big welcoming hand for our local high school senior, the guru of raging hormones and tragic victim of face acne, Saito Yamanichi!" Right on cue a fairly tall young man trotted cockily-not to mention a bit goofily-onto the stage and gratefully took hold of the microphone. Jiro silently descended down the front steps and momentarily occupied himself at the fountain drinks machine behind the front counter.

Setsuna initially ranked Saito's looks to be just a tad below average, as Jiro apparently wasn't joking when he said the high school student was a victim of facial acne. However, upon closer inspection, the Hanyou couldn't deny that Saito's dark hair had impressive volume and had a slightly alluring hazel eye color. It didn't mean that the bodyguard found him attractive in the slightest though; because Saito's somewhat clumsy and dorky nature overpowered his eyes and hair immensely. _'Besides, he's nothing compared to Oujo-Sama.'_

With a confident hair flip-Setsuna and Mana rolled their eyes at this-Saito raised the microphone to his smirking lips.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dudes and dudettes, lend me your ears…and believe me when I say that is the ONLY thing I've ever learned from Shakespeare." Mana and Setsuna gave small, half smirks of approval at the opening line; they felt no pressure to laugh however. Jiro scampered up to the table with his head lowered, making sure that he didn't block the customers' view. In his right hand was a tray withholding a glass of sprite, a plate of french fries and chicken tenders-Setsuna never thought Mana's usual would be such a simple meal-another glass of diet coke, two straws, and napkins. Jiro wordlessly began to sit Setsuna and Mana's food in front of them.

"Yeah I wasn't much of a man of drama. That's why I intend to avoid drama in general. Like when my friends freak out about their grades on some big test, uh-uh! Drama alert! I'm on a one way ticket to skipping class!" Jiro cracked a small smile at the pun as he left Setsuna and Mana's table. The gunslinger had released a small huff of amusement, as if she just now realized how decently funny the comment was. Setsuna remained silent however with her intent gaze never leaving Saito. The Hanyou's onyx orbs glimmered momentarily as Saito casually leaned his free hand onto the empty microphone holder of the stand. The movement was smooth yet relaxed; giving Saito an experienced aura about himself.

"Or how about when everyone starts flipping out about finding a date for prom? Uh-uh! Drama alert!" Saito crossed his arms into an X shape while shaking his head rapidly.

"They can go ripping their hair out, frustrated about getting a date all they want to! I'm just going with my back-up and bringing along my cousin; she owes me anyways!" A light round of laughter came from the crowd, but, yet again, Setsuna kept her mouth shut.

"Oh! But what about the worst of all? Jocks that look they've been munching on steroids for three square meals a day? They just seem to like picking on the cute guys these days!" Saito suddenly fake coughed into his fist while pointing at himself with an innocent grin.

"I remember that one time when they tried to dunk my head in the toilet, uh-uh! Drama alert! I was like," Saito abruptly held up his hands while pretending to look up at an assumedly large jockey.

"Wait, wait, wait…I'll do it myself player, there's no need to waste that football star energy!" Saito then assumed the position of dunking his own head into a toilet and reaching up to pull the lever. While producing gurgling sound effects, Saito then flashed a thumbs-up without raising his head.

"I've been meaning-(blurb, blurb!)-to rinse this gel-(blurb!)-out of my hair-(blu-blurb!)-anyways!" Mana, the rest of the customers included, finally gave in with genuine giggles at the young comedian's antics…So how come Setsuna still didn't find him hilarious? Standing straight once again, Saito had one hand placed in his jeans pocket and laughing to himself in what appeared to be skepticism.

"And they say high school is the best years of your young life! Well, someone better show me some solid proof because I'm not so sure anymore!" _'Start going out with someone other than your cousin and you'll get all the proof you need.'_ Setsuna thought tiredly with a sigh.

At least, the Hanyou had thought she said it in her mind.

"Oh-ho! Looks like we got ourselves a heckler in the crowd!" Saito suddenly declared as he pointed down at Setsuna. The bodyguard's eyes expanded in shock and confusion as she turned to Mana for an answer; her hand outstretched in Saito's direction. Setsuna's bafflement increased when she only received a bemused and pleasantly surprised expression from Mana.

"I knew you were a smart mouth, but not a heckler." _'What the hell is a heckler?!'_

"Wha-" Before Setsuna could even ask what a heckler was, Saito approached closer to the edge of the stage and stared down at the bodyguard.

"I'll happen to let you know that I actually do have a girlfriend, little girl!" The Hanyou's head robotically snapped her head up to glare at Saito with fire in her eyes. _'Who's he calling a little girl?!'_ Fine, if this half-assed, comedian wanna-be wanted a piece of Setsuna-to-the-mother-effin'-Sakurazaki; then Saito was gonna get the whole damn thing.

"Now, now _**little boy**_; now isn't the time to fantasize! People are watching!" Just the smallest hint of a grimace flashed across Saito's face before he retorted heatedly.

"Oh trust me! This isn't my fantasy; because if it was you'd be using that big mouth for something a little more useful!" Setsuna prayed that Saito wouldn't give anymore hints, but unfortunately cringed as the cocky male suggestively did a few hip thrusts. A round of 'Ooos' traveled across the building as Jiro, who appointed his position behind the front counter once again, shook his head in mild exasperation and rolled his eyes.

Setsuna could've sworn she threw up in her mouth a little. _'Okay…that was disgusting. Well, Jiro-San didn't call him the guru of raging hormones for nothing.'_

"Tell me, oh wise hormone guru," Setsuna began in a mockingly humble tone. Saito eyed the grinning half-demon suspiciously.

"How can one suck it…when there is indeed nothing to suck?" The entire comedy house roared with hysteric laughter; initially leaving Setsuna in awe that she had caused this before her entire being swelled with pride and thrill. Even Mana had a hand firmly clasped over her mouth and laughing heartily at the comeback.

Saito's mouth gaped in stunned devastation as he allowed the microphone to slip from his grasp and then covered his groin with both hands defensively. He gawked wordlessly as every single individual-that included Jiro-laughed freely in front of Saito. A few people even had to wipe tears from their eyes.

Seeing the vulnerable state that Saito was in, Setsuna didn't feel a drop of mercy left in her mental repertoire as she continued confidently.

"Looks like our cock-less student still has much to learn! Maybe you can go to your cousin and ask her about it, hm?" That final blow had hit Saito hard-and when Setsuna says hard she means like a legendary Chuck Norris uppercut hard-and quickly dashed off the stage with his destination in mind being as far away from Bust a Gut as possible.

Jiro caught a glimpse of Saito's humiliated expression as he came towards the front counter and instantly took pity on the boy. He halted Saito's advancements with a sympathetic pat of his shoulder and muttered awkwardly.

"Listen, Saito, you know we're all just joking around, right? Comedians have to deal with hecklers all the time-"

"Get your damn hands off of me!" Saito shouted furiously as he yanked Jiro's hand away from his shoulder. Jiro stared blankly yet knowingly at the enraged young man for a tense moment until Saito finally turned away with an angered huff. The thick brunette watched solemnly as one of their best weekly comedians stormed out of the building; shouting a string of curses behind him as he stomped down the sidewalk.

Jiro hunched his form over the front counter and sighed deeply, _'shit! Saito-San was the only guy keeping this place up and running!'_ As much as Jiro couldn't deny Setsuna's unexpected, yet phenomenal, heckler finesse, it had cost him a valuable stand-up comic that kept his business alive.

Setsuna, who had a triumphant smirk on her face and holding onto Mana's auburn jacket-the shrine maiden was close to falling out of her seat from how hard she was laughing-had never felt so fulfilled in her life-of course, those moments when Konoka would glomp the protector with gusto was an automatic exception. Either way, with the melodious sounds of joyful laughter enshrouding her dignified form, Setsuna was lost in a moment of carefree euphoria.

There once again lived a Big Bad Wolf, who was recently pimp slapped by a hysteric young girl. The wolf didn't know who the hell she was, but after taking a long time to himself to think about what she said…he finally began to realize how unappreciative he was of the things he had. The wolf stood from his lotus meditating position and fist pumped in determination; conclusively deciding that life can only be as bad as you see it. From now on, the Big Bad Wolf would gain a more positive view of the world.

Then the wolf wondered if he was actually an undercover drug junkie because he was _**certain**_ he had to be hallucinating as a puff of smoke suddenly exploded next to him. A jubilant Setsuna appeared when the smoke dispersed and, without giving the wolf a chance to even utter a howl of surprise, brought him into a bear hug. While spinning the wolf around at dizzying speeds, the half-demon cheered blissfully: "That's right wolf! Sometimes life can be one of the most beautiful things in the universe! I love you, you big, furry bucket of rabies!"

As Setsuna pulled from her fantasy parody, she noticed that Mana had recuperated herself long enough to pull out her phone and started texting on it.

"What're you doing, Mana-San?" Setsuna asked merrily with a goofy smile. Mana smirked at her fellow school guardian's dopey expression before answering calmly.

"Just texting Kaede-San about what just happened."

Setsuna's smile dropped; replaced with a placid countenance.

"W-what?" Not registering Setsuna's abrupt change of mood, Mana also added.

"This is definitely going on Twitter too. Everyone will be talking about it."

Setsuna's face resembled that of the famous 'Scream' artwork as she stopped breathing.

There once again lived an extremely dizzy wolf who was wondering if he should check himself into both a rehab and the nearest animal asylum. Before he could ponder any further, Setsuna delivered a swift drop kick to the side of the troubled wolf's head and cried out in devastation: "Fuck what I said earlier! Fate is out to get us wolf, I just know it-oh…you're unconscious…"

Setsuna peeked around in hopes to find another animal that would assist the injured and traumatized wolf, but saw no one. Shrugging indifferently to herself, Setsuna disappeared once again in a puff of smoke.

There was no way Setsuna could allow Mana to do that, _'what if everyone at school finds out?!'_ With a panicked pounce, the half-demon frantically tried to reach over the shrine maiden-which undoubtedly scared the living shit out of Mana, although she would never show it-and grab the phone.

"What the blazing hell are you doing?!" Mana bellowed in both fright and anger-but mostly fright-as she continued moving her phone out of the bodyguard's grasp.

"Don't you _**dare**_ put that on Twitter!" Setsuna received a third deadpan from Mana.

"…Are you kidding me? Why not?" The tan gunslinger finally regained some breathing room as Setsuna pulled away and clasped her hands together pleadingly.

"Please, Mana-San…For the love Kami-Sama, don't tell anyone about this!" Mana quickly scanned her surroundings and realized with a sweat drop that the entire vacinity was staring at the guardian duo curiously. The shrine maiden nervously patted Setsuna's shoulder and whispered.

"Setsuna-San…you're making yourself look like a pitiful idiot. How about we talk more outside, where people aren't watching us?" With her sense of dignity reestablished, Setsuna blinked dumbly a few times until her cheeks flushed hot pink.

"Uh…r-right, let's get out of here." Mana and Setsuna walked-well, actually they jogged…or sprinted-up to the front counter; Jiro sitting on a stool and worrying about the fate of his precious comedy house. Without slowing down, Mana slapped her money on the counter top, unintentionally paying for Setsuna's drink as well-not like the Hanyou was complaining anyways. The two girls were just about to push open the narrow, glass door until Jiro suddenly hollered with little enthusiasm.

"Hope to see you guys again real soon!" Both girls nodded curtly in response; too eager to leave the building and failing to notice Jiro's despondent apparel. Having nothing left to say, Jiro simply forced his endearing, gap-toothed smile and waved cumbersomely. By the time his smile dropped, Setsuna and Mana were pacing down the sidewalk…

* * *

"Onegai!" Setsuna begged as she matched Mana's brisk walking pace.

"If anyone finds out about this, I'll be screwed! W-what if Headmaster Konoe starts to think that I'm unfit to be Konochan's bodyguard?!" The half-demon was panicking so much that she didn't even realized that she referred to Konoka as Konochan instead of Oujo-Sama. Mana caught her slip-up however but ignored it as she sighed in agitation.

"Kami, you're making a big deal out of nothing, Setsuna-San! Didn't you see what happened back there?" Mana threw her arm back and pointed in the direction of Bust a Gust. Setsuna scoffed before answering sourly.

"Yeah, I turned into a complete asshole and damaged a young man's pride-"

"No, what you did was entertain the crowd! You had them in the palm of your hands! I've never even seen that Saito guy get a response like that!"

"I'm sure it was just a fluke." Setsuna muttered in a slightly disheartened tone as she took a step away from her annoyed classmate. Mana studied the Hanyou's depressed body language and, knowing full well that arguing with the insecure girl would do her no good, sighed gently in defeat before whipping out her cell phone. Setsuna's breath caught in her throat, but then released it as Mana quickly reassured.

"I'm not getting on Twitter. I'm just telling Kaede-San to keep quiet about this since I already told her what happened." Setsuna's shoulder's slumped in relief as she delivered the gunslinger a grateful smile.

"Thanks, Mana-San. I knew I could count on yo-"

"However, there will be conditions." Mana interjected with an impish leer.

Setsuna gulped.

"…C-conditions?"

"That's right, conditions. I want you to take a good look at this." Mana held up her phone screen, which was currently on the Twitter website. Setsuna squinted as she read the tiny text.

_Hangin' at Bust a Gut with Setsuna Sakurazaki who's hecklin' like a pro! :O_

Setsuna paled.

"You wouldn't…"

"I would." Mana's leer turned down right evil.

"W-what're your conditions?" Setsuna had never felt so cornered before, but felt no surprise at the fact that Mana was the predator in this situation. Abruptly abandoning all forms of ill intent, Mana folded her arms and asserted sternly.

"I won't do your work for you…You'll be the one to let everybody know about this-"

"What? W-why the hell would I do that?!"

"I saw how much you enjoyed yourself, Setsuna-San. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't have a good time back there." The shrine maiden ordered as her gaze burned deeply into Setsuna's squirming form. The weight of her stare piled tremendous amounts of peer pressure onto the Hanyou's shoulders, and knew that when it came to Mana's persuasive glowering, relenting against it was a lost cause. Speaking barely above a whisper, Setsuna admitted quietly.

"I did…" Setsuna's classmate relaxed her glare and nodded in satisfaction.

"That's what I thought. If you really did like doing this, then you shouldn't be ashamed to admit that to your friends. You never know, they might actually like it…maybe even your little _**princess**_ too." Setsuna quickly turned her back to Mana; which was a futile action since the gunslinger saw how red the half-demon's ears were. Mana's muffled chortling only deepened Setsuna's embarrassment.

"Y-you don't know that for sure, alright? Just…give me some time here." She refused to face Mana once again until she got a proper response; resulting in a tense moment of silence to ensue between the protective pair.

"Fair enough; I'll give you a little under a month. How does that sound?" With her shoulders tense-though Mana could tell that she was quivering a bit with nervousness-and hands tucked into her jacket pockets, Setsuna nodded.

"Good" Mana suddenly appeared right next to Setsuna and slapped her back playfully_-'Playful my ass! That hurt!'_ Despite this-rudely- corrected fact, Setsuna successful held in her groan of pain and flashed Mana an agonized smile.

"C-can we get moving now?" A sinister laugh echoed throughout the depths of Mana's mind, _'that's payback for calling me a monkey.'_

No other words were said as the two friends strolled casually back to Mahora campus; the gray clouds lurking above turning just a shade darker and signaling that evening was approaching. However, Setsuna's features perked up when she realized something quite amusing and asked Mana nonchalantly.

"So you have Kaede-San's number now?"

A beat of silence.

Two beats of silence.

Mana's cheeks tinted pink. She hissed threateningly.

"You speak of this to no one…" Setsuna shrugged with an indifferent smile.

"Whatever you say, Mana-San." Oh yes, revenge was sweet, but sometimes, blackmail tasted even sweeter…

* * *

Kaede's phone blinked repetitively; alerting the ninja to a new text message. The calm ninja lazily flipped open her phone before plopping back onto her bunk bed. She read the message-which really shouldn't be possible with her eyes completely closed like that-and then chuckled in amusement.

_Don't tell anyone about Bust a Gut, the half chicken demon isn't ready yet._

"Just what exactly are you planning, de gozaru?" Kaede wondered with her tranquil expression never faltering. Folding her arms behind her head, the Baka Ranger stared contemplatively at the top bed bunk's wooden support beams. A humored smile played across her lips.

"Who would've thought that Setsuna-San would be a heckler, de gozaru?" This indeed was getting interesting…

* * *

Sorry that this one was shorter than the last, but the main focus of this chapter was just Mana and Setsuna visiting Bust a Gut Comedy House. Now guys, if my descriptions of the place seemed vague, that's because I've never actually BEEN to a live stand-up comedian's show or comedy house, so I'm going off of what I've seen on TV. Also, sorry if Saito's jokes were lame, I really couldn't come up with that many lines for this him. I'll try to be funnier next time, okay? ^_^'

**Helpful Fact:**For the people that are wondering what a heckler is, it's a person in the audience who tries to embarrass comedians with clever gibes, questions, and objections.

Okay then, until next chapter, please...

CLICK THE REVIEW BUTTON -.-


	3. Jiro has an offer?

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! I finally got the third chapter out! Sorry I took a while, but I stayed up until 5 A.M. in the morning working on this, so I hope you like it! And really, nothing too exciting happens in this chapter, but I hope you find it entertaining anyways.

Disclaimer: I do not own Negima or any of its characters.

Now then, enjoy the chapter! :D

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"Heheh~"

Konoka rolled her eyes playfully as Asuna giggled goofily with a smidgen of fudge smeared across her lower lip. The red-head patted her stomach in satisfaction while continuing to chuckle blissfully, _'That cake was blessed by Kami-Sama himself!'_

"Happy now?" The Konoe heiress asked with a giggle as she seated herself on their couch. As if her roommate had momentarily lost the ability to speak, Asuna only nodded dumbly in response. Konoka sighed at the silent reply before her chocolate orbs stared wordlessly out of a nearby window; a few miniscule specks of light slowing beginning to dot the night sky.

"Hey Asuna-San…" Konoka murmured softly without tearing gaze away from the view. The twin-tailed girl in question gave an urging grunt; for some reason words just weren't a part of her capabilities at that moment.

"Do you think that Secchan…has been acting a bit _**off**_ lately?" With a quick swipe of her tongue, Asuna licked off the morsel of fudge across her lip and finally spoke.

"Actually, yeah, I do. Bird brain has been acting a little screwy lately. Hell, I haven't even seen her around today after school; she just disappeared!"

"So you haven't seen her either?" Now Konoka was beginning to worry. _'What is Secchan up to?'_ At first, the mage princess didn't take the 'ka-kaw' situation seriously at all, but now that her beloved bodyguard was suddenly absent for hours at an unknown place; she had a real reason to be concerned…

* * *

It was Wednesday morning and Setsuna-who was already awake since her body clock is set at ungodly early hours-was sitting on her bunk bed with her legs crossed. Because of this, she was already dressed in her Mahora uniform and was simply waiting until it was time to arrive at Konoka's dorm.

A contemplative expression adorned her visage as she wondered about something that's been nagging at her thoughts ever since last night. _'Why does it feel like I forgot something important?'_ As if the action would help her remember, Setsuna's face scrunched up even tighter as she focused intensely and listed off the events from yesterday.

'_I met up with Konochan at her dorm,'_ Setsuna nodded to herself as she made a mental check off the list; once again failing to realize that used the fond nickname.

'…_Then I did a crow-mating call at her…N-not like I wanted to mate with her or anything…'_ Even Setsuna herself knew how much of a lie that was, but her dignity compelled her to make the weak attempt anyways. Quickly shaking off the awkward thought, the Hanyou continued her inward check-off list.

'_Then, after class, I ran away so I wouldn't have to confront Konochan…like a coward,' _There goes the nickname again.

'_Then I went to Bust A Gut with Mana-San, apparently became a heckler, and then left-' _Setsuna paused as a muddle of frustration and annoyance overcame her features.

'_What, the hell, is a heckler?'_ Okay, so maybe the half-demon could admit that she indeed enjoyed being a heckler, but would it hurt if someone clued her in on the definition of it? A deep, low sigh of agitation escaped Setsuna as her shoulders slumped with defeat; ranting to herself about it wouldn't help at all-

"I missed dinner with Konochan last night!" Setsuna immediately remembered with an annoyed groan; face palming herself as she did so. She could only hope that Konoka wouldn't question her about it, although Setsuna knew the chances were slim. As she straightened her posture, her onyx orbs landed on the clock placed upon her bedside table; the bodyguard's eyes widened.

Launching from her bed like a frog hyped up on steroids, Setsuna's head collided with the top bunk bed's wooden frame. She stood in the middle of the room and clenched her throbbing cranium while hissing multiple profanities-sprinkled with some peculiar crow squawking in between-under her breath. As the pain in her scalp dulled, Setsuna instantly remembered the reason behind her urgency before swiftly reaching for her Yuunagi and power walked out of her dorm room, _'I'm gonna be late!'_

Unbeknownst to the rushing bodyguard, Setsuna's trusty hairband laid forgotten on the table…

* * *

"Oh my Kami-Sama!" Asuna suddenly shouted with a slam of her hand against the room wall. This had resulted in both Negi and Konoka jumping in surprise-well, Negi actually released one of his charming girlish squeaks but that's a minor detail-before directing worried stares at the twin-tailed girl.

"W-what's wrong, Asuna-San?!" The child teacher wailed for both him and Konoka with a panicked flutter of his arms. As if the red head had a vision and knew Doomsday was right around the corner; Asuna's face sunk with devastation and remained silent for a suspenseful moment.

"…S-Setsuna-San…" Just the mention of Konoka's best friend during such a dire situation compelled tears to prick the corners of the Konoe heiress's eyes. _'O-oh no, don't tell me something happened to Secchan!'_ Negi was having similar thoughts as his boyish features just barely paled with trepidation-

"She's late! That bird brain is actually late!" Asuna cried out with her fist clenched and head hung low.

"What has this cruel world come to?!"

A beat of silence.

Another beat of silence.

A pillow sailed through the air at deafening speeds and nailed Asuna in the side of the head.

"Gyah!"

"That's not funny Asuna-San!" Konoka whined as a few tears slid from her narrowed eyes and down her flustered cheeks. Negi nodded in agreement with a frown-more of a pout actually. Asuna-who was sprawled out on the floor but still partially conscious-managed to defend herself with a dazed slur in her voice.

"I-I was just trying to lighten the mood!"

"Well it didn't work." Konoka mumbled as her cheeks puffed out even further.

"…Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously"

"For real?"

"Really"

"You're sure?"

"Yes…I'm sure."

"…"

"…"

"…One hundred percent-"

"Asuna-San can we please not do this right now?" Konoka interjected with a sigh before a small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips; knowing full well that the mage princess couldn't stay mad at Asuna for too long. The red head in question was also aware of this quirk about their friendship and, showing off her athletic finesse while doing so, promptly pressed her palms to the floor and jumped onto her feet.

"Whatever! You know you like doing that too, Konoka-San-"

"That probably wasn't a smart thing to do, Asuna-San." A new voice suggested dryly.

It was Setsuna-who still hadn't realized her free hair-with her hand gripping the door knob and standing astutely at the entrance. As the Hanyou had expected yet prayed against, Asuna's slower-than-average mentality didn't immediately understand her friend's warning. Puffing out her chest confidently and stepping closer to Setsuna, the red head cocked an eyebrow challengingly.

"Not a smart thing, huh? I'd say that was pretty damn awesome if you ask me, bird brain-" Raising her hand to halt Asuna's taunting and rolling her eyes; Setsuna had presumed the 'bitch please' pose before stating.

"Look, I was going to spare you and give you some time to realize…but that's obviously not happening."

Asuna blinked, more confused than anything. Setsuna continued nonchalantly.

"Asuna-San, we are wearing our school uniforms right now." Onyx orbs stared meaningfully at Asuna; as if signaling that this was the red head's last chance to catch on.

"…So?" Setsuna's eyes momentarily clenched shut to silently mourn over the twin-tailed girl's soon-to-be massacred dignity, _'I tried to warn her…'_

"So…we're wearing skirts…Asuna-San, I'm pretty sure you gave both Negi-Sensei and Oujo-Sama quite a view with that stunt you just pulled."

"Eh? Setsuna-San…I don't understa-" In a split second, Asuna turned to face Konoka and Negi with growing horror as Setsuna's hints finally started to click in her mind. Konoka cracked a nervous smile while sweat dropping as Negi's cheeks had undoubtedly flared up bright red with embarrassment. Asuna's entire body tensed as her jaw shifted around stiffly within her closed mouth; preparing to release an angry rant that Setsuna recognized all too easily.

Now if there was anything that Setsuna would always try to avoid, it was unnecessary and overly loud reactions. The bodyguard just favored the calmer route at times-well, you know, the whole demon slaying job being one of few exceptions-over the aggressive one. However, it sure as hell wasn't happening today because of two reasons. One, this was a chance to annoy Asuna- the same girl who would constantly tease the Hanyou to almost emotionally painful extents. And two; Setsuna's alter ego, the heckler, definitely wasn't finished until she delivered the proper, final blow.

Extending her free hand and covering her smirking mouth playfully, Setsuna loudly feigned a chain of coughs.

"(Cough, cough!)-panty shot-(cough!)" Asuna didn't visibly flinch, but the rising crimson hue in her cheeks was evidence enough that the outburst had pushed her temper a little further. Setsuna pretended to pay no mind to her fiery classmate's unsettling behavior and then immediately added in an apologetic voice.

"Ah, gomen; I guess I'm coming down with a cold..." As Setsuna murmured those last few words, Asuna's fists began to clench tightly; her knuckles cracking dangerously and slowly eyeing the guilty child teacher.

"Negi…." Her voice growled venomously; totally abandoning any form of honorific with his name. When the honorifics are dropped, shit is about to go _**down**_.

Negi paled.

Setsuna latched her smug stare onto Konoka's anxious-yet slightly amused-expression before casually raising both hands to cover her ears. The protector mouthed: "Ear muffs, now. "

Konoka, who immediately caught on to the command, covered her ears as well before cringing in preparation.

"STUPID BAKA PERVERT NEGI!"

"N-no! Asuna-San, it was an accident!"

Bringing down the almighty hammer of pervert punishment-her fist-it collided against the back of Negi's head with a thunderous whack.

"Itaiiiiii!"

'_Whoa…Maybe I went a bit too far?_' Setsuna wondered with just a flicker of guilt…

* * *

Leaning back in her seat with an amused smirk, Mana chuckled as Setsuna, Konoka, Asuna, and Negi-who had a smoking lump atop his head-entered the classroom. The gunslinger then immediately noticed her guardian partner's absence of her usual side ponytail and that the Hanyou was obviously struggling to repress a smug grin. Then there was Asuna's disgruntled, blushing face as the red head muttered angrily under her breath; the expression completely opposite in comparison to Konoka's distracted, blissful smile. _'Looks like they had a fun morning...'_ Another low giggle escaped the shrine maiden as she heard scattered whispers from surrounding classmates; them also pondering about the group of friends' unusual apparel.

The bell chimed loudly in the atmosphere, signaling the beginning of class. Negi casually appointed his position behind the podium with a pleasant smile-ignoring the pain in his scalp like a professional-and proclaimed calmly.

"Take your seats everyone! Class has begu-"

"Negi-Sensei!" A particular class president interjected with a horrified shriek.

"W-what happened to your poor head?! Who hit-" Ayaka's mouth abruptly clamped shut as realization hit her fast and hard. Turning sharply in a nonchalant Asuna's direction-the nervous shifting of Asuna's heterochromatic eyes spoke differently-the blonde's green orbs narrowed accusingly.

"It…was _**you**_!" As if her golden locks had suddenly transformed into hissing snakes and resembled the head of Medusa, Ayaka's glare had frozen Asuna right on the spot. Finding the warrior spirit within her to fake indifference, the twin-tailed student simply rolled her eyes.

"Whatever Iincho; it's none of your business anyways." Scoffing in offense at the off-handed retort, Ayaka screeched with a broiling temper.

"Of course it's my business! Negi-Sensei was senselessly attacked by a brutish gorilla!" Asuna shot up from her seat; fire literally kindling in her angered eyes.

"Who're you calling a gorilla, cradle robber!?"

"A-Ayaka-San, Asuna-San; please calm do-" Negi gave in with a dejected sigh in the middle of his sentence as the two students were too absorbed in their argument to notice him. His hunched and defeated form clearly read: "Why do I even bother?"

'_Poor Negi-San; he's had a really tough day so far.'_ Konoka thought with pity as her bubbly smile remained unfazed. There was something particular lurking behind that usual smile though, and-seeing as how it was constantly being directed in the Hanyou's direction every few seconds-Setsuna nervously took notice. Because of this, the half-demon's anxiety gradually began to build, _'shit! She's suspicious again! I knew I should've left Asuna-San alone!'_

The bodyguard attempted to appear oblivious to the attention- she wasn't exactly a fan of the limelight-and tried to force her gaze on the two bickering girls. Setsuna couldn't ignore the lingering uneasiness in the pit of her stomach though as she used her peripheral vision to watch Konoka sneak not-so-secretive glances at her uncomfortable form; wondering what the hell was running through the mage princess's mind.

Unbeknownst to Setsuna, hidden beneath that innocently curious visage was Konoka's rape face. In the Konoe heiress's opinion, if you took twenty pounds of hot red chili peppers and dumped them in an active volcano, it _**still**_ wouldn't be anywhere near as hot as how Setsuna looked.

The Hanyou's unbound black tresses just barely cloaked her right eye and gave off an extremely untamed yet attractive aura about her. Then, Setsuna was flashing that heckler-smirk as an unconscious disguise for her rising apprehension. The half-demon was portraying a cocky, laid-back hotness that Konoka had never been blessed to witness before. _'Kami…I didn't think it was possible, but Secchan just got hotter…' _She gawked inwardly.

Feeling that the intensity behind Konoka's stares suddenly increased by ten folds, Setsuna did a quick scan of her surroundings with feigned casualness. However, once her gaze landed on a chuckling Mana, the bodyguard's eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

Picking up on her fellow guardian's silent question, the shrine maiden simply ran her hand through her dark locks with her grin never faltering. Setsuna's eyes narrowed in further bafflement and-hoping that the action would help her understand better-mimicked Mana's actions with a swift rake-hand-through-hair of her own.

Setsuna failed to realize that Konoka practically swooned at the sight as her body language clearly spoke: "Sweet baby Jesus that was _**hawt**_!"

When her hand reached the back of her neck, Setsuna's form froze as the state of her hair finally registered in her brain. A light pink blush spread across her cheeks in under a second, causing Mana to turn and face the window in order to hide her low laughter. The half-demon slowly faced forward once again as her insecurities began to sink in; slouching into her seat to shyly hide behind her desk all the while.

Here is a brief review of 3-A's current situation: Asuna and Ayaka are at each other's throats once again. Negi is silently sulking behind his podium. Mana is throwing a private, giggling fit in the corner of the room. Other students were quietly gossiping about the eccentric interactions between Setsuna, Konoka, and her roommates. Konoka's practically stripping Setsuna with her longing gaze. And to wrap it all up, the Hanyou-whose cheeks were literally glowing cherry red-slumped in her seat with mortification.

'_Kami-Sama, I know I was a real asshole to you earlier, but please, give me strength!'_ She pleaded desperately…

* * *

"Welcome to Bust A Gut Comedy House! Take a seat where you can find it!" Jiro greeted enthusiastically from behind the front counter; his patient almond orbs curiously observing the small group of customers entering the building. At first it was just two young-familiar-adults waltzing into the comedy parlor, but his interest peaked when several more appeared. And even more intriguing than that, they were new-not to mention eager-faces. The large brunette had to do a double-take as yet another group of new customers shuffled in; their expressions and body language visibly excited.

"What the…" He whispered under his breath in confusion as he unconsciously removed a towel from his shoulder and began cleaning the counter top. The unusual occurrence continued to repeat itself for a few more minutes; deepening Jiro's suspicion.

His confusion became appeased however as a teenage male with medium-length dark cocoa hair strutted up to Jiro with a wide grin.

"Can't wait for tonight's show man; Last night was awesome!" Jiro, who still wasn't able to understand what was happening, flashed his sheepish gap-toothed smile in response. The smile then abruptly dropped; replaced with a quirked eyebrow of bewilderment.

"Wait…tonight's show? But it's not even after seven yet." The question only helped to widen the teenager's smile.

"I know. That's why I'll be coming back later for that heckler. I'm just here right now to see the day-time comedians; they're way better than the other ones if you ask me." Jiro's eyes shifted about in his head in a perplexed way before quoting the boy cautiously.

"...That heckler? Son…who're you talk-" With his mouth gaping in mid-breath, the events from last night rushed back to him all in one moment. A knowing smirk graced his rough features.

"Ah, yes, _**that**_ heckler…So," Jiro pointed at the eclectic groups of seated customers.

"Are you telling me that all of these people came…just to see the heckler at work?" Hope gleamed brightly in his auburn irises as a possible solution to his business was peaking over the horizon. Scanning over the crowd with an impressed nod to himself, the male teen chuckled in slight awe.

"Incredible; right? But all of this really is for the heckler. What can I say? The girl was freakin' hilarious!" Jiro agreed without hesitation.

"You don't have to tell me twice. That kid has some real talent."

"So, she'll be here tonight?" There was just the shortest of a pause escaping Jiro before he answered with awkward confidence.

"Oh, of course! I mean…she wasn't exactly _**scheduled**_ for tonight, but I'm sure I can ring her up and see if she can make it." Somebody give this man a Grammy Award for world-class acting because his improvising was flawless. The teenage customer grinned as the excitement pulsed within his body; absolutely eager to have a wholesome, gut busting laugh.

"Great! Can't wait for it Jiro-San!"

"Haha! Yeah, me neither…" Jiro trailed off as the teen left to locate a seat. Leaning at a ridiculous angle over the counter, the manager watched his retreating back until he finally rounded the corner and hopped off the stool. His almond pupils searched frantically for the nearest employee and, when they landed on a young waitress, he gently pulled her to the side and lowered his head to whisper quickly.

"Suki-San, I need you and the others to pick up on my duties while I'm gone."

"S-sure, Jiro-San; but…where are you going?" Suki asked with a sweat drop; as it was a rare sight to see the usually mellow father-figure act so giddy. Jiro cheekily revealed his gap-toothed smile once again.

"I'm going to save my business." Suki blinked dumbly, unaware of her boss's plans. Jiro didn't give Suki a chance to comprehend his response however as he promptly grabbed his jacket off the coat rack near the exit. As he shoved his arms through the sleeves, Jiro delivered one last encouraging gaze at Suki.

"You're one of my best employees here, Suki-San. I'm counting on you." Suki merely nodded.

"Y-yes sir"…

* * *

Jiro stood at the entrance of Mahora Academy's lobby; nervously shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. The building and atmosphere seemed so classy and high-maintenance, which was a complete opposite to his comforting comedy parlor. The manager wasn't exactly a man with a wealthy background and was more penchant of a simpler, easy-going life. However, his discomfort would have to be pushed aside for the sake of saving the lifestyle he worked so hard to establish. Jiro inhaled deeply in preparation before passing through the twin-doors and anxiously sauntering up to a glossy, beige counter.

No one was present behind the counter. Jiro mumbled under his breath about 'life never making it easy for him' before his sight landed on a bell attached to the smooth surface. The unpretentious man momentarily gazed at the bell in intrigue since he's only ever seen one in movies based on fancy hotels. Quickly shaking out of his nostalgic thoughts, Jiro feebly tapped the bell and couldn't help but cringe at the loud ting. Jiro had to restrain himself from shouting in surprise as a young woman-she could've passed off for a student-suddenly appeared behind the counter with a bright smile.

"Hello sir, how may I help you?"

"U-uh…" Jiro started with a stutter; still recovering from his shock. As his thundering heart finally slowed its pace, he coughed into his fist awkwardly and struggled to speak as properly as he could.

"M-my name's Jiro Hiroshi and I'm an acquaintance of a student named Mana Tatsumiya. I was hoping that I could see her immediately? It's urgent." The woman's expression seemingly didn't change, but Jiro's wise sight immediately noticed the skeptical gleam in her eyes. Before she could attempt to politely deny him, the manager rushed to add.

"P-please, just…tell Mana-San that Jiro is here. If she doesn't come…then I'll leave. Just please, I _**really**_ need to talk to her…" His gruff voice rung with soft pleading; effectively blowing away any plans the female employee had of dismissing Jiro. Her light brown eyes softened as a small, genuine smile graced her young features and nodded.

"Okay…I'll have one of our interns working in an office closest to her dorm message her immediately." Finally feeling the tension leave his large form, Jiro smiled broadly and bowed in gratitude.

"You don't know how much this means to me, ma'am." Jiro's smile curved down subtly as the woman giggled and her cheeks flustered.

"I wouldn't exactly call myself a ma'am yet, sir! I mean, I'm only a seventeen year old intern too!" _'Ah…that explains why she looks young enough to be my daughter I guess.'_ Jiro thought as he chuckled as well before strutting to the other end of the room and seating himself in a cozy chair. He watched as the-supposedly-young intern adjusted the microphone headset attached to her right ear and spoke into it with robotic professionalism. To Jiro, he was only hearing fancy talk mumbo-jumbo. He did know that she mentioned Mana's name a couple times, and that was more than enough to assure him.

After a few minutes of waiting, Jiro's leg began to bounce impatiently as the brashness of his actions finally started to catch up with him. What if Mana wouldn't come down? What if the young girl had lied to him? What if Setsuna refused his offer? What if his business was surely doomed? _'I should've thought more into this…'_ He concluded with a deep sigh as his age crept up on him and a dull pain pulsed in his lower back; a sign of his pesky-yet minor-case of arthritis. Jiro straightened his hunched form in hopes of popping a few joints and lessening the pain; which he did. A relieved exhale emanated from him but then froze as his almond orbs latched onto a particular gunslinger entering the lobby curiously.

Jiro could tell that Mana's curiosity peaked when she spotted him. Her eyebrows flew up in light surprise before they lowered with her usual nonchalant attitude.

"Jiro-San? What're you doing here-No…how do you even know that I'm here?" Mana questioned calmly as she approached the standing manager. Jiro shrugged sheepishly before he admitted quietly.

"Well…your friend's uniform was basically a dead give-away. Mahora Academy is pretty well-known around here, ya know?" Mana nodded in understanding as her mouth formed a silent 'ooh' of realization.

"Makes sense…So what do you need, Jiro-San?"

"I kinda need to talk to your friend from yesterday." Mana's tan features conveyed subtle confusion.

"Setsuna-San? Why, did she do something wrong last night?"

"The complete opposite actually" Jiro chimed with a giddy, half-smirk. The school guardian studied the manager's eager face until the insinuation suddenly dawned on her.

"Oh boy, I think I get where this is going. Jiro-San, you do know that she probably won't agree, right?"

"It's worth a shot, isn't it?"

"No, not really. That kid is stubborn."

"Oh come on; at least let me try!" Jiro whined as his childish side finally reared itself; causing Mana to roll her eyes in exasperation. However, the gunslinger was unprepared to face the large brunette's trump card: the guilt trap.

"Please, Mana-San! Saito-San was the only comedian keeping my business up and running! But since your friend ran him off last night, Bust a Gut might go down the drain!"

"And what makes you think Setsuna-San could save it?" Mana enquired with a strong front; although even she herself believed that the Hanyou had what it takes to save Bust a Gut. She just didn't want to give in just yet. Besides, it wasn't every day that the gunslinger witnessed Jiro practically groveling at her feet.

"You know as much as I do that she can do it. Do you know that the entire place is nearly packed right now?" That last statement had undoubtedly caught Mana's attention because she couldn't ever recall a time when the comedy parlor was ever full. Jiro realized that he snagged the student's interest and continued determinedly.

"Customers from last night _**and**_ new people came pouring in! And most of them will be coming back tonight! Take a guess who they're coming back for, Mana-San!"

"Setsuna-San…" The shrine maiden answered in disbelief with a thoughtful countenance. She knew that Setsuna really brought down the house last night, but she certainly didn't expect it to leave such a remarkable effect on the audience. A stunned chuckle escaped Mana as she fully faced Jiro with an amused grin.

"Wow…I didn't think they'd like her _**that**_ much."

"You're right, they don't like her. They _**love**_ her…Mana-San; I really need your help on this one. That girl, the heckler, is the solution for Bust a Gut." Jiro pleaded softly as his fatherly gaze lingered on the shrine maiden's contemplative form. Mana's jaw shifted around in deep thought. Of course, her feelings on the matter mirrored the manager's own perfectly; but even if they were one equal terms, it all lead back to Setsuna's decision. She could easily imagine the bodyguard frantically denying the offer in a blushing mess of stuttering and arm flailing. However, it never did hurt to try; right?

Mana sighed.

"Fine, we can go ask her. But I'm telling you Jiro-San, this kid is ridiculously shy about this kind of stuff…I do think she needs to come out of her shell though. It'd be better on her and everyone else anyways." Jiro's childishness returned ten-fold as he nodded eagerly and bounced on the balls of his feet; his wide auburn pupils shining with glee. Mana didn't even attempt to repress her laughter.

"I hope she says yes!" The female intern chimed encouragingly from behind the counter; startling both Mana and Jiro. The pair sweat dropped as they simultaneous-and wordlessly-agreed to discuss future private topics…in more private areas.

"Th-thanks…" Jiro responded with his signature gap-toothed smile. Mana remained silent as she began walking for the dorm halls. The middle-aged brunette promptly followed…

* * *

'_Clear your mind…'_

Setsuna-who was sitting lotus style upon her bed-inhaled a cleansing breath.

'_Think of nothing…Speak nothing…'_

Mana had left earlier since she had received a request from some office intern to come to the lobby. So, with the few minutes of silence to spare, Setsuna attempted to take a new approach to disposing her troublesome heckler personality: meditating.

It seemed as though she was nearly successful at reaching still peace.

'_Envision your legs as roots…reaching into the earth's crust…becoming one with nature…'_

A pleasant and satisfied smirk grew on Setsuna's face. She could feel her heart beat slow down into a lulling pace.

'_One with nature…Ignore the outside world…'_

'_Ignore everything…Ignore any distractions…Ignore the Big Bad Wolf, yes, ignore the fact that he's groveling to his veterinarian about being a drug addict and keeps seeing this lunatic girl that won't leave him alone…Ignore the way his veterinarian is suspiciously a bunny…Ignore it all…'_

Setsuna's form was motionless as her smile gradually dropped to form a scowl.

A beat of silence.

Two beats of silence.

Setsuna released a loud growl of complaint. She should've known that it wouldn't be that easy.

"Dammit! This isn't working…and why is the wolf's vet a bunny?!"

There once lived a Big Bad Wolf who was currently receiving a written list of prescriptions from his bunny-like veterinarian and grimaced at how long it was. He wasn't exactly the best at remembering and keeping track of the times for when he needed to take medicine, but when you start hallucinating about a crazy girl who constantly kicks your ass black and blue; the wolf was willing to deal with it. Fiddling with the gauze wrapped around his head as he did so, the wolf hopped off the hospital bed and shook his vet's hand in gratitude. Just then, a giant cloud of white smoke exploded in between them and there stood an upset Setsuna.

Heavy tears fell from the wolf's eyes at the sight of his assaulter. He yanked on the stunned bunny's lab coat sleeve while pointing at Setsuna; praying that he saw it too and that it would prove that he wasn't insane after all. Paying no mind to his panicking actions, Setsuna gripped the sobbing canine by the fur covering his collar and brought his snout dangerously close to her nose: "You listen here you weepy little dog! You're a fucking wolf! W-O-L-F, wolf! Wolves are predators, bunnies are prey! What the hell are you doing getting mental and medical advice from a prey?!"

The wolf shook his head rapidly as if he didn't want to accept the fact that Setsuna was here; sending a flurry of tears and snot to fly through the air and blemish the bunny's white coat.

The bunny doctor scowled as he sent a dangerous glare at Setsuna and the wolf. The Hanyou in question abruptly stopped traumatizing the wolf and stared at the angered rodent in fearful surprise: "Oh shit…the bunny's pissed…"

Without hesitation, Setsuna released the wolf and he collapsed pitifully to the floor. With her hands held up and backing away slowly, the protector offered hurriedly: "H-hey, he's all yours. That's your prey!"

With that said, Setsuna once again disappeared in a puff of white fog.

Setsuna has a feeling that the meditation just made her fantasy parodies even worse, _'I'm screwed...'_ She concluded dryly as she hung her head in defeat.

Just then, the door swung open to reveal Mana, but it wasn't her sudden appearance that surprised Setsuna. It was the fact that Jiro was standing next to Mana with one hand in his jacket pocket and nervously waving at the half-demon with his other one; goofy smile plastered across his cheeks all the while. Without even thinking, Setsuna cautiously raised her hand and waved back.

"Uh…h-hey Jiro-San. What brings you here?"

"He's got a pretty interesting offer for you, bird brain." Mana stated casually as she plopped down next to Setsuna and sent Jiro an expectant gaze. The large brunette shuffled in the middle of the room for a moment before he finally found the courage to stare Setsuna straight in the eyes and blurt out.

"Would you like to work at Bust a Gut as a heckler?"

A beat of silence.

Setsuna groaned in frustration…

* * *

"She freakin' ran away again!" Asuna grumbled irritably as her and Konoka quickly paced down the halls; intent on confronting Setsuna about her weird behavior.

"Maybe you should calm down a little, Asuna-San." Konoka suggested with a nervous smile. The Konoe heiress was also irked that her best friend continued to avoid her as well, but the red-head's fury was a bit unnecessary. Asuna sharply turned to face Konoka without breaking her stride.

"I am not calming down, Konoka-San! I mean, we're supposed to be her friends for crying out loud! But then she's going around being all secretive and acting weird instead of coming to us about it!"

"Look, I understand how you feel, but I think your temper is seriously clouding your sense of logic right now."

"Hah! Clouded sense of logic she says!" Asuna mocked loudly with rage rattling her words furiously.

"How many times do I gotta remind you? I'm a Baka Ranger! Sense of logic isn't in my dictionary!" Konoka's cheeks puffed out into a pout; slightly irritated at her roommate's show of disrespect. _'Fine, I tried to be civil with you, but there' s no helping it!'_ Konoka thought as she ran and stood in front of Asuna to stop the red-head's advances. Standing on the tip of her toes so that her narrowed vision was leveled with Asuna, Konoka whispered in a gravely warning tone.

"Now listen here missy. I keep trying to tell you that storming in there, blinded by fury isn't going to get you anywhere." Asuna's eyes widened with fear, unable to believe that the bubbly heiress was unnaturally exposing her scary side. She opened her mouth in an attempt to give a reply, but her voice-for once-failed her.

"If you can't seem to understand that, then we can always forget about that apple pie I was going to cook this Friday."

Asuna paled before gently placing her hands on Konoka's shoulders; making the chocolate haired mage stand flat on her feet once again.

"W-whoa, there's no need to get crazy Konoka-San!" As if Konoka had caught herself performing a lewd crime, she pressed her index and middle finger against her temple and sighed despondently.

"I-I'm sorry but…you just force it out of me sometimes, Asuna-San…Just try to approach this situation with Secchan more calmly, please?" Asuna gulped-spooked by Konoka's bi-polar moment-before stiffly nodding in agreement. _'S-scary…'_ She thought as the two friends continued the venture for Setsuna's dorm room…

* * *

Okay! That's all for now! Can't wait to type out what happens next, heheh~ X3

Hopefully this was okay and funny enough, if not, then I deeply apologize and promise to make the next chapter funnier. And just to let you know, the whole 'Big Bad Wolf' theme will practically appear in every chapter; as it's an essential part of this story's comedy.

So, until then, please...

CLICK THE REVIEW BUTTON -.-


	4. She slapped you with a banana?

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! I'm finally back! Okay, so this one doesn't develop the plot TOO much, but it is just one, big, mess of Setsuna fun. So I hope you guys get a decent laugh out of it! X3 Oh! Also, if you guys want to see what Jiro looks like(although I did mess up the drawing a little. I will be putting up a better one later)then you can go to my deviantart account: KAGEJASER. It's the newest deviation that I put up, so you should see it as soon as you pull up my gallery!

Disclaimer: I do not own Negima or any of its characters.

Now please, enjoy the chapter! :D

* * *

**Chapter 4**

The Hanyou's cheeks bulged in random places as she worked her tongue around in her mouth; struggling to form a clear response. Setsuna couldn't even understand her own emotions at that moment; was she intrigued, annoyed, cornered or perhaps all of the above? She momentarily wondered if this was how the Big Bad Wolf felt and, if so, concluded that she should lighten up a bit on traumatizing the poor guy…wolf…thing.

Her onyx orbs glanced up unsurely at Jiro's pleading-yet hopeful-stare. The last thing Setsuna wanted to do was dampen the large man's spirit, but there was no way the swordswoman could pull this off. She coughed awkwardly into her fist before opening her mouth to speak; only for her lips to quiver with stunned silence. Setsuna's brow furrowed with mild agitation.

Mana quirked an eyebrow at the half demon's unusual behavior while chuckling under her breath.

"Uh-oh, Jiro-San…I think you completely fried bird brain's bird brain." To add emphasis, the gunslinger teasingly poked Setsuna's right temple a few times. Jiro's smile was initially a friendly one until it stretched further to reveal a cheeky motive. The large brunette may act like a fatherly, responsible and wholesome manager most of the time, but when you're specifically the manager of a comedy parlor for nearly a decade, a playful side was bound to form at some point.

"Hey now, Mana-San; you're not supposed to harass birds. Don't ya know how angry they can get?" Jiro had absolutely no knowledge of Setsuna's true heritage or the existence of magic, but he did catch on to this 'bird brain' trend fast enough to join in on the fun. _'Besides, maybe she'll loosen up a little'_ It was a poorly developed theory, but it had appeared that Mana was thinking the same as she continuously prodded Setsuna with a smug smirk.

A vein pulsed rapidly on Setsuna's forehead as her roommate continuously attacked her right temple.

"Mana…San…please…stop…po…king…me." She grumbled lowly in between each poke. Mana scoffed as she finally stopped assaulting Setsuna's head.

"Fine, little miss grumpy Polly wanna cracker-"

"Actually," Setsuna interrupted with a tight-tighter than what Mana and Jiro thought was healthy-and sarcastic grin.

"Polly doesn't wanna cracker. Polly wanna crack open my _**sword**_ and-"

"_**And**_ we're treading on violent territory." Jiro interjected with an anxious chortle and sweat drop. Mana crossed her arms casually before leaning back against a wooden bed post.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Jiro-San. This kid here is just all talk and no squawk." The Konoe protector silently glared at her roommate; half expecting Mana to stare back with equal vigor. However, the tan gunslinger settled for rolling her eyes and looking away instead.

"Please, Setsuna-San; like I'm falling for that 'monkey see monkey do' crap again." A grimace fleeted across Setsuna's face before it was overcome with subtle contemplation. Shortly coming to a decision, Setsuna delivered her fellow school guardian a small smirk before taking an inhale of preparation.

Setsuna released a deep, crow-like chirp.

Jiro's eyes turned into saucer plates.

Mana froze in mid breath and gawked blankly at the Hanyou.

A beat of si-

"I stand corrected." Mana stated with a raised finger. Jiro choked on his words as he slowly pointed at the grinning Hanyou.

"Th-th-that sounded r-really…realistic j-just now." As if the two girls had rehearsed the situation multiple times, Mana let loose a few chuckles while roughly patting Setsuna's back. The Hanyou in question feigned bashfulness as she scratched the back of her head.

"And now you know why we call her bird brain. She's got a weird talent for bird calls."

"I-it's true, sometimes I wonder if it's a blessing or a curse…" Setsuna trailed off with a crooked smile-since she was genuinely tempted to unleash Yuunagi on Mana if she wouldn't stop man handling her spine like a barbarian. Jiro traded a skeptical stare between the two girls before nervously sighing in defeat.

"Q-quite a talent ya got there."

"Thanks…I think." Setsuna hesitantly replied; unsure if Jiro's reply was either an insult or a compliment. An awkward silence hung in the air until Setsuna audibly cleared her throat and stood from her bed. Mana's brow raised suspiciously as her roommate hurriedly scurried into the kitchen.

"S-so, is anyone thirsty?" The Konoe guardian asked with her head practically buried inside her refrigerator. Now the shrine maiden's eyes narrowed with realization-and annoyance-as the half demon's motives became clear to her.

"Setsuna-San, don't even _**try**_ to change the subject." Setsuna's form jumped and-a little to Mana's amusement and Jiro's concern-bumped the top of her head against the inside of the fridge. Slamming the door closed with a light scowl and rubbing her frequently attacked cranium, Setsuna's expression automatically switched to a naively innocent one.

"Try? Try to change what? What subject?" Mana threw her head back and released an uncharacteristically loud groan of exasperation before grumbling.

"You know exactly what I mean bird brain." Jiro's shoulders slumped in disappointment as he began to predict where the discussion was going to lead, _'looks like I'll be out of a job soon…'_

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about." Setsuna muttered absentmindedly as she frantically searched through the cabinets…although she wasn't even looking for anything, she just needed an excuse to not look at her friend's disapproving gaze.

"Yes, you do." The gunslinger shot back.

"Turn up your hearing aid and listen good, I don't."

"You wanna go there, bird brain?"

"Go where? Are we taking a trip to the park? Not a good idea Mana-San, probably best to go to the zoo instead." Mana's right eyebrow twitched in aggravation but then felt her anger waver with sudden confusion.

"Wait…why would a stupid zoo be any better?" Acting as if she didn't find what she was looking for, Setsuna closed the kitchen cabinets and turned to lean casually over the counter. Her onyx orbs stared upon Mana with fake consideration before muttering.

"I just thought…that you'd like go down to the monkey section and give your cousins a surprise visit. I heard they missed you _**so**_ much on the tire swing." Jiro sputtered a mixture of a cough and a laugh as he hunched over and placed a fist over his mouth; attempting desperately to muffle his chortles at the sight of Mana's rigid appearance.

Her tan hands were clinched tightly around each other as her trigger fingers rubbed restlessly against themselves; her craving to pop a cap in a particular Hanyou's ass skyrocketing at that moment. Her lips had vanished from sight as her teeth bit the inside of her mouth while her feet tapped rapidly-yet harshly-against the carpet surface as a distraction from her seething wrath. Finally, her eyes were closed shut as she focused intensely on finding her happy place; a place where gun laws didn't exist, a place where Setsuna was being mercilessly beaten by a giant ape-or was that King Kong?-a place where Kaede continuously challenged the gunslinger to a battle only for them both to passionately declare their love for each other afterwar-

Mana blinked rapidly as she forcefully pulled out of her happy place. Things were getting just a bit _**too**_ happy there-maybe Setsuna's fantasy parodies were starting to infect her?

She looked ahead to see Jiro had resigned to lingering in a far off corner of the room and pretending to examine the wall in interest; when really, he was cowering from the shrine maiden's previous rage. However, the tan student's posture stiffened when a strangled giggle resounded from the kitchen and could only turn her head robotically; a sneer slithering across her face as she did so.

The swordswoman withheld a banana in one hand-as she was preparing to offer it to Mana as a peace offering-and a glass of orange juice in the other. A heckler smile was etched upon her smug visage. Raising a finger that was undoubtedly quaking with restrained rage, Mana warned lowly.

"Don't, you, dare…chirp another monkey joke." Setsuna's face lighted up with perplexity while nonchalantly waving around the banana.

"What? I was just feeling a little hungry and figured I'd have a banana and some juice-"

"Bullshit" Mana interjected with a tight-mouthed leer.

"U-um, guys?" Jiro mumbled cautiously with his signature gap-toothed smile.

"I hate to interrupt your bonding time, but I really need an answer soon so I can get back to Bust a Gut." The brunette manager delivered a pleading stare in Setsuna's direction; causing the swordswoman's shoulders to deflate as her teasing tendencies left her for the moment. A sigh escaped her before she looked back with an apologetic gaze.

"L-look, Jiro-San…I'm flattered by the offer but…I couldn't p-possibly handle something like that."

"But you _**can**_!" Jiro insisted with a frustrated gesture of his hands.

"You just did it last night! You looked like you were one of us, like you belonged at Bust a Gut!" As if Setsuna's insecurities had adorned a pair of boxing gloves and entered the ring with her, they began to beat down on the bodyguard's heckler confidence mercilessly. She genuinely longed to believe what Jiro was telling her, but such a laid back and-in her opinion-cool atmosphere was so far out of Setsuna's comfort zone. _'There's no way I could belong there…'_ Setsuna slumped further onto the kitchen counter as her index finger dejectedly fiddled with the rim of her glass.

"I don't know…" She whispered unsurely with her sullen gaze forced downward. Suddenly, Mana stood from the bunk bed as well and casually sauntered up next to Setsuna; resting one arm on the counter while her other hand rested on her hip. She pointed at the banana.

"You still gonna eat that?" Jiro gawked wordlessly at the gunslinger; completely clueless about what his regular customer was planning. Setsuna paid no heed to the unusual question however as she made a dry noise of consent and limply handed over the yellow fruit; her eyes never making contact with Mana's own.

"Enjoy your treat, chimp."

The shrine maiden gently plucked the banana from Setsuna's hand-Jiro was wondering why Mana hadn't exploded from the chimp insult-and reeled it back.

"Setsuna-San" She called calmly. Setsuna, fully unaware of the position her roommate was in, sighed in aggravation before promptly pivoting to face Mana.

"Wh-"

SPLAT!

Mana harshly slapped Setsuna with the banana; causing the Hanyou's head to reel from the impact and gain a stunned expression. A flurry of squashed banana bits flew through the air and splattered across nearly half of the used-to-be-clean kitchen appliances.

Setsuna blinked.

A beat of silence.

Jiro gaped.

Two beats of silence.

Mana grinned broadly.

Three beats…of painful silence.

Abruptly regaining her senses and not even sparing Mana or Jiro another glance, Setsuna paced out of the kitchen and frantically searched the room; mumbling under her breath about: "Where's my Yuunagi…Where is it? I'm gonna kill her! I'm gonna kill her dead…and send her to Monkey Hell!"

Jiro slapped a hand onto his forehead before tiredly dragging it down his face, _'yep, my business is definitely screwed now!'_

However, his despondent musings were interrupted as his ears registered a nearly inaudible noise. His almond orbs rolled in Mana's direction; observing as she cuffed a hand over the side of her mouth and whispered with a chuckle.

"Now's your chance, ask her." Jiro's brow flew up in disbelief as his mental functioning struggled to comprehend what she was talking about.

Realization pimp slapped Jiro across his rosy cheeks.

Mana had actually planned the entire altercation from the moment they walked through the door.

The large brunette pointed dumbly at the infuriated Hanyou-who still hadn't cleaned the banana mush off her face-while still gaping at the grinning shrine maiden. His mouth twitched in several, awkward directions as he failed miserably to form a single word. But, if there was one thing that was clear at that moment, it was that Jiro should never-and ladies and gentlemen we mean _**never**_-doubt Mana's tactician skills. A grateful, toothy smile broke out across the man's face before he innocently clasped his hands behind his back and playfully tip-toed behind Setsuna-who had just now whipped out her Yuunagi with a triumphant: "There you are! Time to dice up some monkey!"

Having heard this terrifying declaration and being rewarded a front row view of Setsuna's trusty-not to mention dangerously sharp-sword, Jiro held up his hands with widened, horrified eyes.

"Whoa, whoa! I'm not Mana-San!" The Hanyou didn't even flinch when Jiro stated this. She only glared half-heartedly at Jiro before suggesting lowly.

"Better grab an apron and some goggles Jiro-San, things are about to get messy." Jiro inwardly cringed at the warning and wondered just what kind of insane friendship these two girls shared. However, the inquiry was quickly brushed aside to be replaced with anxious determination. He would use the opportunity that Mana had worked so hard-and also lost a bit of dignity in the process-to establish for him. The dense ball of nervousness that had been building in the pit of his stomach flowed with the resonances of his quivering voice as he blurted.

"Could you please work at Bust a Gut as a heckler?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure; just move already so I can get to work…" Setsuna growled as she glared at Mana over Jiro's shoulder while raising her sword threateningly-did we already mention that the banana gunk is _**still**_ smeared across her face? Jiro blinked owlishly at Setsuna's sudden agreement as he remained frozen where he stood.

"Come get your feathers plucked, Tweety!" Mana taunted from her position behind the counter.

That had effortlessly riled up Setsuna even further as her cheeks tinted red with boiling anger. However, due to her temper rising to dangerous limits, the bodyguard hadn't even realized that her arm unintentionally swatted the sword in Mana's direction out of frustration…How unfortunate that Jiro was still in the way.

Jiro choked out a-very manly-squeak of surprise as he jumped back to avoid the blade from slicing into his lower abdomen.

It could've been the scared, higher than usual pitch of his voice, or his trembling form that was bent at an uncomfortable angle in order to lean away from the sword. Hell, it could've also been because a grown man towering nearly a foot above her height was cowering before her and close to having a stroke from extreme shock, but the sight had definitely triggered a switch in some rational part of Setsuna's brain.

The outraged gleam in her onyx eyes were swiftly replaced with one of shameful apology as she raked her vision over Jiro's frightened form. Then, as if she just now realized that she was gripping Yuunagi tightly in one hand, she gently held it with both hands; absorbing an eyeful of the Shinmei-ryu blade before sheathing it. Setsuna carefully patted her cherished weapon a few times in silent pardon for her irresponsible use of it before locking her gaze with a shell shocked Jiro. With a much calmer demeanor than before, the Hanyou sighed before revealing a slightly sheepish smile at the tall man.

"S-sorry about that…Jiro-San…I had lost myself for a moment there…" With his hands still raised from the evasive maneuver he just performed, Jiro slowly brought then down and gingerly patted his stomach. Once he was sure that he wasn't injured, the middle aged manager narrowed one eye skeptically at the Hanyou.

"You lost _**yourself**_…Young lady…I could've lost an _**organ**_ just now with that crazy stunt ya pulled." Setsuna's cheeks flushed hot pink in embarrassment but couldn't restrain an annoyed growl as she heard a specific gunslinger cackle tauntingly in the background. _'Damn you Queen Kong! I'll get you back for this!'_

Despite the fleeting evidence of hostility crossing her face, Jiro instantly felt his urge to scold Setsuna diminish. Besides, now that Jiro took a moment to actually think about his current situation, Setsuna was technically Bust a Gut's new heckler.

His mission was complete.

Forcing a forgiving smile to grace his rough features, Jiro simply patted Setsuna's shoulder.

"Well, I guess there's no harm done. J-just uh…be a little more careful with that thing, ne?" Jiro suggested with a weak smile. Setsuna's blush grew a shade darker as she hung her head and mumbled quietly.

"H-hai, Jiro-San" The Hanyou couldn't possibly imagine how her dignity could decay any further; acting like a childish fool with Mana-of all people-and preparing to cause havoc. And yet, she had almost jeopardized the large, innocent brunette's well-being in the process. In the spur of her thoughts of self-blame, Setsuna had managed to draw a single, bitter conclusion, _'this never would've happened if I hadn't showed my weird side so much. This is exactly what I was afraid of-'_

A heavy, callous hand plopped atop Setsuna's head.

"Ya alright there, young lady? Looks like you were having some dark thoughts there…" Jiro muttered with concern softly tingeing his words. His almond irises radiated with silent understanding as they locked onto slightly downcast, onyx ones as he cautiously ruffled her dark tresses. Tenderly revealing his gap-toothed smile, the manager's stare sent a wordless message to the Hanyou; who could strangely comprehend all four words that were delivered to her: "It's not your fault."

Setsuna's expression remained unfazed for a moment before they sluggishly lifted with gratitude. Unable to find the spirit in her to break the silence, she simply nodded in response before taking a step away from Jiro; allowing his thick hand to slip away from her. The two individuals shifted awkwardly where they stood before a gag of mock disgust travelled from the kitchen.

Mana-who had been watching the entire interaction like it was a sappy commercial-scrunched her face with fake revulsion.

"Okay you two, this is beautiful and everything but I'm not in the mood to watch a heartfelt father-daughter skit." Mana smirked as Jiro's cheeks flared up light burgundy and Setsuna's brow furrowed before they sputtered simultaneously.

"That's not funny/Shut it, Queen Kong!" The tan gunslinger's smile widened as the Hanyou and manager realized their synchronized outbursts while trading awkward glances from the corner of their vision. Mana opened her mouth to retort but halted as a few, forceful knocks resounded from the door. The shrine maiden's shoulder's slumped in disappointment since her fun had unexpectedly came to an end but went to answer the door anyways. Setsuna took this chance to finally touch her face and feel her fingers make contact with a gunky substance. Her hand immediately retracted from her hot pink visage, _'oh yeah…I still have banana smeared across my face…' _With that realization in mind, the Hanyou quietly trotted into the kitchen and turned on the sink faucet.

Another impatient knock resounded from the door as Mana gripped the knob.

"Calm down, I'm coming" She mumbled in annoyance before swinging the door open. Her eyes widened in slight surprise as they were met with the sight of Asuna and Konoka.

"…Can I help you, Konoka-San? Asuna-San?"

Setsuna froze right as she started to splash water on her face, _'oh shit…'_

"Hey, Mana-San! Just came to see if Secchan was here." Konoka chimed happily with a wave but then sweat dropped as Asuna crossed her arms and declared with a low growl.

"And don't even think of lying to us, we've got some serious business with her!" Mana quirked an eyebrow at her classmate-wondering if maybe she should pop a cap in Asuna's ass as well for the rudeness-before an usually polite smile overcame her tan features.

"Of course not, Asuna-San. Why would I _**ever**_ lie to you?" The mage princess and red head stared dumbly while blinking, as they were feeling thoroughly disturbed by the gunslinger's unnatural good manners.

"Uhhhh-" Asuna's idiotic drawling was cut off by Mana casually waving her hand in a beckoning gesture.

"Setsuna-San's actually here right now." The shrine maiden glanced in Setsuna's direction from the corner of her eye as a small, victorious smile appeared on her face. Setsuna, who was still present in the kitchen, waved her hands frantically at Mana with a panicking expression. Her lips mouthed multiple, silent pleas such as: "No! I'm not here! I'm not here! For the love of Kami-Sama, spare me! Don't do it, Queen Kong!"

Mana simply ignored both Setsuna's wordless begging and Jiro's squirming form-the poor man was starting feel like he was intruding on a situation that he shouldn't when Konoka and Asuna arrived at the door-as Asuna gained an almost predatory gleam in her heterochromatic eyes.

"She's here? Then let me through woman!" Mana held no quells as she stepped aside and allowed the twin-tailed girl to eagerly sprint into her dorm room. Performing the usual action of never thinking before doing, Asuna pointed triumphantly and shouted.

"There's nowhere to run now, bird brai-" Asuna gawked at the unknown man standing before her as one of her eyes narrowed skeptically. Blushing with renewed shyness, Jiro smiled sheepishly while waving.

"A-afternoon, young lady"

A beat of silence

Setsuna stealthily turned on her heels and attempted to creep into the bathroom; hoping that she wouldn't be noticed and hide from the most-definitely-would-happen interrogation.

"Who the hell are you?!" Asuna screeched at the top of her lungs as she rolled her right arm in a windmill fashion-preparing to beat the brunette manager into a bloody pulp for no apparent reason. Jiro paled at the motion as he unconsciously took a step back. Konoka graciously came to his rescue however as she firmly gripped Asuna's shoulder while sending her a disapproving gaze.

"Now, now, Asuna-San; there's no need to hurt him without even figuring out why he's here." The red head simply scoffed as she slowly lowered her arm before crossing it with the other; huffing as she did so. Konoka turned back to face Mana-who was casually leaning against the door frame and enjoying the show-and asked in a bubbly tone.

"Who's your friend, Mana-San?"

"It's just as you said, Konoka-San," Mana started as she nonchalantly trotted over and stood next to Jiro.

"He's a friend…who was just leaving. _**Right**_, Jiro-San?" Jiro stared questioningly before the tan girl's motives instantly dawned on him. It'd be best if he left as soon as possible; one of the reasons being that he didn't want to give Setsuna a chance to realize that she accidentally accepted his offer. The second reason…something in Jiro's gut told him that today could be the day that he'd get his ass whooped by a middle school girl.

"Ah! Yes, I-I actually _**do**_ have to go now!" He chirped with a bit too much optimism. Exposing his sincere, gap-toothed smile, Jiro held out a hand to Konoka; who gingerly shook it with a broad smile of her own.

"It was nice to meet you, Jiro-San!"

"Same here, young lady…Oh! Uh, y-you too." He added nervously as his hand-which was now becoming clammy with lingering nervousness-stretched out to Asuna. She relented stubbornly at first but eventually gave in with a sigh and reluctantly shook his hand. With the proper mannerisms awkwardly established, Jiro coughed into his fist before forcing his jelly legs to approach the door. However, just as he began to walk out, he turned to reveal a broad, zealous smile in the direction of the kitchen.

"I hope to see you and Mana-San at seven tonight." Mana smirked mischievously.

"Don't worry, you will." Nodding in satisfaction, Jiro quietly closed the door behind him; leaving a still silence to hang in the atmosphere as perplexity infected Asuna and Konoka's countenances. Detecting the inaudible questions leaking from her classmates' forms, the aloof school guardian made herself comfortable on Setsuna's bunk bed once again-she didn't feel like climbing up to her top bunk-and stated.

"Yes, I'll be going out tonight…And Setsuna-San will be my company." The shrine maiden grinned as her keen hearing picked up on a nearly silent choke of anxiety. Unlike Mana, Asuna and Konoka didn't register the sound as the chocolate haired heiress replied joyfully.

"Sounds fun! Maybe we could come along too?" Asuna had a completely different view on the matter as she quickly interjected.

"N-now hold on a min-"

"Apple pie" Asuna changed her mind in under a second with anxiety lacing her tone; afraid of missing out on the opportunity of consuming a few slices of delectable apple pie.

"That sounds like a great idea, Konoka-San!" Mana sweat dropped as she could practically imagine a leash in Konoka's hand that was attached to a collar around Asuna's neck.

"Anyways…we'll be leaving soon, so if you got something to say to Setsuna-San then make it quick." Konoka clasped her hands together in a pleading fashion while poking out her lower lip; the puppy dog eyes making her pouty face nearly bullet proof.

"Aw, come on, Mana-San. I want to go with you and Secchan too…Wait, where is Secchan?" She muttered curiously as her deep brown eyes raked her surroundings. When they finally latched onto her target-this target in particular was whispering a string of curses under her breath for her terrible luck-Konoka took no hesitation in jubilantly prancing to her protector and glomping her from behind.

"Secchan~!" Setsuna choked out an incomprehensible sound at the moment of impact before they fell to the ground with a thud. Asuna stood over the two cuddling girls-actually, Konoka was the only one cuddling since Setsuna was practically on the verge of hyperventilation-as she placed her hands on her hips and griped.

"Alright bird brain! It's time to fess up and explain to us why you've been avoiding us lately! I mean, you've got some serious nerv-…What's that mushy stuff all over your face?" Confused by her roommate's random question, Konoka sat up from the hug and ogled Setsuna's face. Sure enough, one-half of the bodyguard's face was littered with bits of squashed banana. The half demon couldn't stop the blood from rushing to her cheeks as her two friends stared at her with intense bafflement-besides, it's not exactly every day that they receive the privilege of witnessing Setsuna in such a silly state.

The Hanyou's mouth remained shut; not a single excuse gracing her mind at that moment. All she could do was turn her head to the side and block their view of the fruity mess upon her flushed cheeks.

"Oh, yeah…that was kinda my fault." Mana admitted calmly as she hunched over Setsuna and Konoka with her hands on her knees. The gunslinger half expected her twin-tailed classmate to lightly scold her about it, but smiled smugly at Asuna grinned proudly at her.

"Nice one!" They traded a friendly fist bump above the snuggling pair of childhood friends. Setsuna glared at Mana, who merely rolled her eyes and held out a helping hand. The half demon glowered angrily at the offered hand before grudgingly grabbing hold of it and pulling herself up…with Konoka still attached to her torso.

Mana chuckled at the stubborn pout plastered across the princess's face before asking wittily.

"Are you part koala or something?"

"Mana-San…" Setsuna warned quietly as Konoka's sulking continued and her grip tightened. Puckering her lips to speak-that was the only way her mouth could move with such a heavy scowl-the royal mage mumbled childishly.

"Why can't we go with you guys, Mana-San?"

"And why has bird brain been running away from us?!" Asuna yelled with a raised hand as if she was in class. Setsuna grimaced in annoyance, _'they're talking about me like I'm not even here!'_

Mana sighed deeply while pinching the bridge of her nose; all this shouting and demanding of answers was starting to gnaw on her patience. However-as we have established earlier-the shrine maiden was literally the goddess of tactics and manipulation; she already had a back-up alibi for when this situation would arise.

"Okay, look…You two can't come with us because we're going to a weapons maintenance shack. And only people with license to handle weapons are allowed to go there." Konoka's posture deflated with disappointment as she released the Hanyou; causing one of Setsuna's heartstrings to pluck at the sad sight. The last thing she ever wanted was to produce any form of discontent or gloom for the bubbly mage.

Sneakily performing the action so that neither Mana nor Asuna would notice, Setsuna brushed her arm against Konoka's. The sensation had undoubtedly caught Konoka's attention as she directed a quizzical glance at her best friend. Setsuna inconspicuously collected some of the banana mush on her finger before flicking it off in disgust; immediately gazing at Konoka expectedly and hoping that she'd catch on.

Fortunately, Konoka did understand the signal and smiled broadly.

"That still doesn't explain why Setsuna-San's been disappearing!" Asuna snapped loudly; once again resulting in Mana squeezing the bridge of her nose.

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I asked her to come meet me at the shack immediately after school yesterday? Gun and sword maintenance takes a really long time, even days to finish; so me and Setsuna-San will be going down there again today to see if it's done-"

"Secchan, you can't just leave this mess all over your face…How about I clean you up, ne?" Konoka proclaimed with staged concern as she clasped both of Setsuna's hands in her own. Satisfied that the mage princess had detected the hint but also embarrassed from the physical contact, Setsuna only nodded shyly in response. That was more than enough for Konoka as she giggled while eagerly tugging the swordswoman towards the bathroom.

As soon as the pair was out of ear-shot distance and closed the door behind them, Asuna's interrogating attitude presumptuously dropped as she grinned from ear-to-ear.

"Looks like our favorite couple is at it again, Mana-San~."

"Took them long enough." Mana retorted with a tiny smirk, but then hardened her expression as she asserted calmly.

"You guys really can't come with us though. Like I said before, you need a license-"

"Yadda, yadda, yadda! Save all the complicated business talk for someone who'll listen, Mana-San." Asuna interrupted with a wave of her hand as she failed to notice-more like purposefully ignoring-the signs of annoyance infecting Mana's tan features. The Baka Ranger then casually planted a hand on Mana's shoulder-the gunslinger slapped it away but, reacting as if she expected it, Asuna swiftly reaffirmed her grip-and stated confidently.

"Besides, that's not what I'm really interested in." The shrine maiden quirked an eyebrow curiously.

"…It's not?"

"Nope! What I'm curious about is that big goofball that was in here just now. What the hell did he want?" Asuna stared callously at her classmate as she awaited an answer; not caring that Mana was prying off her hand one finger at a time.

"First off," Mana started with a light sneer.

"I'd like it if you didn't touch me all the _**time**_." As she added emphasis towards the end of her sentence, the school guardian managed to wrench off the last of the twin-tailed girl's fingers before continuing.

"And second, if you really have to be so nosey about it…His name is Jiro. He's the manager of the weapons shack and had stopped by to tell us about some…weapon upgrades that he was willing to offer." Mana prayed with all her might that the red head's usual stupidity would kick in right at that moment; even the great goddess of tactician and manipulation grew tired of constantly conjuring up lies.

Fortunately for the gun mistress, Asuna's baka tendencies coincidentally decided to rear itself as she smiled contently.

"There! Now was it so hard to simply tell the truth, Mana-San? Let this be a life lesson for you." Mana deadpanned at Asuna before forcing a robotic smile to appear across her face.

"Yeah, sure. I'll keep that in mind, Asuna-San." Nodding in satisfaction, the fiery red-head surveyed her surroundings before seating herself on the couch and began bouncing her legs impatiently; waiting for Konoka to finish cleaning up Setsuna. Mana rolled her eyes, _'I'm surrounded by birds, princesses, __**and**__ idiots'_…

* * *

"Mou, Secchan…How did this happen anyways?" Konoka questioned as she continued to gently wipe her protector's face with a damp towel. The Hanyou's eyes closed in annoyance as a vein pulsed on her right temple. She could still clearly remember the image of a yellow object charging right for her in high speeds until realizing-just before impact-that it was a banana.

"To put it in a nutshell, Mana-San slapped me with a banana…" She muttered through a tight mouth.

Konoka abruptly halted her cleaning duties and wordlessly stared at Setsuna.

A beat of silence

"…Pffft! M-Mana-San really did that?" The mage princess questioned with a restrained chuckle. Setsuna's facial muscles relaxed as the chocolate haired girl's giggling reached her ears. Finding it impossible to resist, the half demon cracked a small grin in response.

"Yeah…I still don't understand why she did it though-well…actually, uh…maybe I do know why…" Setsuna trailed off sheepishly as she recalled the not-so-friendly bickering her and Mana were previously engaged in. Konoka's deep auburn orbs directed an intrigued stare at her best friend before enquiring in an eager tone.

"So why did she do it, Secchan?"

"Errmmm…" Setsuna mumbled dumbly as she attempted to think up a lie, but her mind had drawn a complete blank. After a thorough moment of uncomfortable silence, the swordswoman released a long sigh of defeat before whispering in embarrassment.

"I kinda…told her…that we should go to a zoo instead of a park," Konoka's brow furrowed in bafflement.

"I don't see how that would make Mana-San slap you with a banana-"

"So that she could go down to the monkey section and give her cousins a surprise visit because they missed her a lot on the tire swing." Setsuna blurted out before immediately scrunching up her shoulders in preparation for a light scolding. Much to her surprise however, Konoka firmly placed a hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter.

"O-oh wow! I see why sh-she slapped you then!" The mage princess gasped in between her chortles.

Setsuna blinked once.

She blinked twice more.

"…Eh?" She replied idiotically. _'She's laughing…K-Konochan's laughing…'_ Setsuna dully repeated in her subconscious like a malfunctioning mantra; clearly expressing disbelief from the unexpected reaction. Konoka took note of the perplexity overwhelming her bodyguard's visage and, as her giggling fit began to fade, beamed brightly.

"Aww, Secchan~ Why do you look so confused? You've seen me laugh before, ne?" Due to the fact that she was still recovering from the immense shock, Setsuna hadn't even flinched in the slightest when the mage princess tenderly laid a hand upon her untainted cheek. The swordswoman's narrowed onyx irises were downcast and shifting around in a contemplative manner before they gradually softened. Lifting her gaze to face Konoka once more, Setsuna muttered in a meek yet hopeful tone.

"So…you actually thought that was funny? D-don't you think that was a bit, well, weird?" The Hanyou visibly cringed as the dreaded question slowly rolled off her tongue. A suspenseful moment of silence hung in the air as Konoka closely studied Setsuna's strained expression; wondering where all this insecurity about having a sense of humor came from. But Konoka couldn't deny that her protector's unusually vulnerable apparel was unbearably adorable. _'Secchan looks so kawaii!'_

The swordswoman in question felt her cheeks flush at the endearing gaze Konoka was sending her. Her blush deepened though once she began to register a physical touch on her cheek belonging to the bubbly princess. Not intending to but being unable to stop herself from doing so, Setsuna timidly nuzzled further into the mage princess's hand while avoiding eye contact.

Konoka most definitely didn't foresee this-if the light pink hue stretching across her face was any indication-but the unusual feedback was enough to free her from her trance. With her joyful grin widening to a toothy smile, the mage princess answered cheerfully.

"Of course it was funny, Secchan! I've never heard anyone call Mana-San a monkey…and the way you did it was hilarious!"

"So it's not weird?" Setsuna urged lowly. Although Konoka's answer should have been enough to appease her worries about her eccentric second personality, the Hanyou just couldn't let it go until she heard the key words. Rolling her eyes good-naturedly and preserving the grasp she had on Setsuna's face, Konoka retrieved the damp towel with her free hand and returned to cleaning off the banana mush.

"…Let's just say…I don't find it wrong if you're able to make someone laugh. Honestly, I don't find it weird at all." The optimism leaking from her smile then transitioned to one of cheekiness.

"Besides, we've been friends with Asuna-San for so long and she's made us laugh lots of times! We don't find _**her**_ weird, right?" Setsuna couldn't deny that the mage princess indeed had a point. Asuna was one of the most insane, hyperactive, aggressive and over confident red-heads she had ever met-the description was a bit harsh but the swordswoman wanted to be honest with herself here-but not once had the swordswoman ever considered her weird or an outcast. Practically all of the girls of class 3-A love and accept Asuna for the loveable hot-head that she was. The school guardian slowly-albeit a little reluctantly as well- leaned away from Konoka's grasp as the princess finished scrubbing her face before delivering a grateful, tiny grin.

"You're right, we never did think Asuna-San was weird…She can be a serious handful, but there are times when she reminds us how great of a friend she can really be." Setsuna warily wrung her hands around each other as a calm silence ensued; struggling to build the confidence she needed to ask one last, significant question. If it was ever a good time for that heckler hubris to disobediently stream from every single pore of the swordswoman's entity, it would be now.

Raising her head with difficulty to face Konoka, Setsuna briefly licked her lips before parting them to mumble.

"U-um…I was just wondering," Konoka's eyebrows raised with intrigue; genuinely pondering what else could be on her childhood friend's mind.

"…Just out of c-curiosity, if I acted weird-not that I am, but…if I did, what would you and Asuna-San do? I mean…h-how would you guys react?" Setsuna then immediately busied her vision with the smooth sink surface beside her as faint apprehension bubbled in her chest.

"Hmmm…if you acted weird, huh…" Konoka started with a thoughtful hum as she tapped her chin with a single finger; pensive gaze momentarily latched onto the ceiling. Suddenly though, the mage princess released a defeated sigh before replying.

"Well, it depends Secchan. What exactly do you mean by weird? Because there are _**a lot**_ of different ways of being weird." Setsuna inwardly winced, _'should've known I wouldn't be able to leave out any details…'_ Swiping her tongue across her lips once more as if it was her only motivator for speaking, the Hanyou cautiously elaborated.

"I-I don't know, maybe…I'll just act more energetic, t-tell jokes, make witty comments with f-friends and classmates, um…you know…just someone who clowns around a lot?" She finished uncertainly with an innocent shrug of her shoulders; inwardly yearning that her beloved friend would settle for the poorly conjured example. It seems that the description sufficed for Konoka as her auburn pupils drifted off with an imaginative glimmer in them; clearly showing that she was envisioning the what-if scenario in her mind.

Breaking from her thoughts to stare attentively at Setsuna's stiff form, Konoka's cheeks sluggishly widened with an approving smile.

"You know what, Secchan? I think I'd actually find it pretty nice…To see you playing and joking around with our classmates and being more relaxed. And I think Asuna-San would be okay with it too-well, I mean, we both know that she'll p-probably make you her class clown rival." Both girls reflected similar, sheepish grins at the notion as a sweat drop beaded down the side of their heads.

"That would probably happen…" Setsuna admitted with a feigned sigh of exasperation before her eyebrows shifted curiously.

"So, that's what you guys would do?"

"Yep! That's how _**I**_ think we would react." Konoka retorted cheerfully. Setsuna's fingers-which were resting on the pearly white faucet-tapped leisurely before she gently pushed herself off the sink and reduced the distance between her and Konoka. Her intense yet trusting onyx orbs locked with innocent, cocoa ones as she muttered softly.

"Okay, I just wanted to know…and thanks."

"For what?" Konoka questioned with a slight tilt of her head-one half of her mind practically bouncing off the walls from the close proximity Setsuna had unconsciously produced.

"For cleaning my face…You're always too kind to me, Konochan." Konoka beamed from the gratitude as she clasped both of Setsuna's hands in her own.

"You don't even have to thank me, Secchan! I'd do anything for…you…" The chocolate haired princess suddenly trailed off as realization struck her. Konoka's grip on Setsuna's hands slackened. _'D-did Secchan just call me Konochan?'_

However, Setsuna failed to notice the Konoe heiress's odd behavior as she rinsed off the dirtied towel in the sink, turned off the faucet, and then gripped the door knob. Before she opened the door, the swordswoman faced Konoka with a subtly determined countenance.

"You know what, Konochan" At the sound of her fond nickname once again traveling through her ears, Konoka jumped in light surprise as she returned to reality-not to mention trying to play off her startled reaction with her normal, joyful grin.

"Hai?"

"Asuna-San was right…I shouldn't have been avoiding you two like that. I should've just told you about the, uh, weapons shack instead of causing all this confusion." With her shock now mostly subdued, Konoka was able to naturally expose a content smile while momentarily embracing Setsuna-a blushing Setsuna we may add. The Konoe princess then released her bodyguard and slowly raised her hand to the hair band holding up Setsuna's side ponytail. With a swift and gently yank, the hair band was removed and the half demon's silky, black tresses were released from its elastic prison; those same, handsome bangs cloaking her eyebrow and framing her face.

Setsuna's blush darkened two shades as she speechlessly traded a confused glance between her hair bow and Konoka's smug-but also disturbingly predatory-smirk. To only multiply the guardian's bafflement, Konoka's voice with a caring sweetness that mismatched her mischievous grin greatly.

"Don't worry about it, Secchan. I'm sure you were just pressed for time and couldn't find the chance to tell us…This weapons maintenance must've _**really**_ been pressuring you, ne?" Still failing to find her voice, Setsuna only nodded nervously in response as she was still trying to understand the purpose behind Konoka stealing her hair band.

A slightly impish smile graced Konoka's feminine features as she calmly twirled the hair band around her index finger.

"In fact, you were _**so**_ pressured that you actually forgot to wear your hair band, and that _**never**_ happens…Do you wanna know what I think, Secchan?"

'_I'm not entirely sure!' _

"S-sure" Setsuna choked out as she observed the bubbly brunette. Leaning forward to gently place her fingers just above the half demon's uniform collar, Konoka answered lowly.

"I think…it should happen, more, often." As the final word left her lips, Konoka playfully tapped her finger on the tip of Setsuna's nose while simultaneously stuffing the hair band into her skirt pocket, _'Secchan won't be needing this anymore~'_ She sung inwardly as she finally allowed the-currently frozen-protector some breathing room.

The Hanyou gaped dumbly as incomprehensible gibberish flowed from her mouth.

"I-I-I, uh, um…y-you-err, my hair…h-hair band, um…" Not giving her best friend a chance to recuperate, Konoka swung open the bathroom door as she skipped out and hummed blissfully.

Setsuna was still rooted to her spot as a single thought repeatedly raced through her mind: "Holy shit Konochan just made a move on me!"

"Bye Secchan~! Hope your weapons maintenance goes well!" Konoka called optimistically with a small wave; Asuna standing next to her roommate with her arms crossed and smirking knowingly. Fully aware of the fact that she would only speak in the native tongue of the stunned idiots, Setsuna simply waved back while slowly stepping out of the bathroom. Mana, who was casually leaning against the back of the couch, gave her silent goodbyes with an acknowledging nod.

As Konoka and Asuna began to exit-of course not before Asuna shouted her own, cocky line of farewell-the gunslinger wordlessly clicked the door close with her amused eyes glued onto Setsuna's shocked expression.

Mana chuckled impishly.

"What's wrong, Tweety? Pussy Cat got your tongue?" Lifeless onyx orbs staring ahead of her as if she was in whole other world, Setsuna slowly approached Mana and stopped a few feet away from her. Shifting those glazed over eyes to stare deeply into the shrine maiden's own; Setsuna was finally able to voice in astonished disbelief.

"Konochan…just made a move on me…Q-queen Kong…Konochan just made a move on me!" Vein pulsing irritably at apparently new, favorite nickname, Mana rolled her eyes before replying dryly.

"I don't see why you're surprised. The girl has obviously been pinning after you for forever-"

"That's not it!" Setsuna interjected with a crimson blush; resulting in a cocky smirk to spread across Mana's face.

"Oh, it isn't?"

"N-no…" Setsuna trailed off in a whisper as she eschewed her vision from Mana's.

"Fine, live in denial for as long as you want. But for now I need you to bring down that spazzy attitude of yours and go change." Her blush vanishing as fast as it came, Setsuna eyed her fellow school guardian questioningly.

"Get changed? For what?" Mana's leer widened.

"What do you think? We'll be heading over to Bust a Gut in less than two hours. So we gotta freshen up and get ready."

Setsuna blinked owlishly.

"…B-but I didn't accept Jiro-San's offer-"

"Yes you did."

"No, I didn't"

"Yep"

"When?"

"When you were in sword rage mode and getting ready to 'dice up some monkey'." Mana quoted mockingly as a satisfying feeling of triumphant filled her to the brim at the sight of Setsuna's devastated features.

A beat of silence.

Setsuna's jaw tightened.

"Son…"

Another beat of silence.

"…of a…"

The half demon stomped her foot childishly on the carpet floor.

"KA-KAW!"

Mana exploded into victorious laughter, _'oh yeah, tonight's gonna be __**real**__ interesting'_…

* * *

Alrighty! That's all for now! Like I said, nothing too much happened but I did have a lot of fun typing this! I'm telling you guys, I couldn't stop smiling like an idiot when I made this! XD

Hope you're satisfied with this chapter! And if not, then maybe next chapter will. ;)

So, until then, please...

CLICK THE REVIEW BUTTON -.-


	5. The squirrel is a tiny ninja?

Hey guys I finally update! Sorry I took a while but I was having trouble getting the last part of it done. But we're all good now! ^w^

So I hope you find this chapter funny enough! Enjoy the story! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Negima or any of its characters

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Setsuna shifted uncomfortably as she observed her reflection in the full body mirror; biting her lower lip nervously all the while.

"I-I don't know Mana-San…" She trailed off hesitantly as her onyx orbs continued to stare at her foreign appearance-secretly attempting to conjure up an escape from this situation the Hanyou had got herself into. The gunslinger sauntered up next to Setsuna and supportively patted her shoulder; her vision glued proudly onto the reflection as well.

"You worry too much, bird brain. Besides…you actually look good…As good as a crow can look anyways." With a firm yet painful slap to the center of the half demon's spine-Setsuna winced at this-Mana trotted off to the kitchen.

Ignoring the throbbing sting in her middle back, Setsuna returned to scrutinizing her apparel. The swordswoman had never felt so uncomfortable in an outfit before-okay, so maybe those times when Konoka would drag her onto a clothes shopping spree was an exception-but this definitely topped her list as 'foreign and awkward attire'.

As replacement for her usual Mahora Uniform was a simple, snug black tank top; effortlessly exposing her lean yet slightly chiseled upper chest and arms. Her faded, coal grey jeans were torn and rippled casually along her hips-which Mana commented that they were a bit wider than she expected and shortly teasing Setsuna about it-thighs and calves. The crinkled fabric just barely hugged the swordswoman's lower body in a way quite similar to male jeans. To top it all off, her hair was still unrestrained from when Konoka removed the Hanyou's precious band.

Setsuna picked at the shoulder strands of her tank top restlessly in an attempt to cover as much skin as she could, when it had seemed that each result turned out worse than the last. The Hanyou-in a fit of childish frustration-quickly lashed out at her tank top with a yank before sharply pivoting to stare at her amused roommate.

"I-I can't wear this, Mana-San!" Mana sighed in annoyance as she approached a glass bowl sitting atop the kitchen counter and extracted-oh the irony of it all-a banana. The gunslinger began peeling it absentmindedly as she reassured dully.

"Will you stop freaking out already? You're acting like this is Armageddon, bird brain." Overdramatically bonking her forehead against the wall next to her mirror, Setsuna groaned miserably.

"It might as well be…" Casually eyeing her devastated fellow guardian, Mana was silent for a long moment before asking in a curios manner.

"I just can't believe you actually had something like that in your closet. Since when was this your style?" The shrine maiden felt her eyebrows shift upward with intrigue as she witnessed the Hanyou's ears burn cherry red. Mana grinned mischievously.

"Oh, let me guess…You didn't pick that out did you? Was a particular _**princess**_ involved-"

"None of your business; thank you very much." Setsuna interjected with a low grumble as her mind flashed through the multiple, hectic memories of Konoka-literally-shoving the Hanyou into a changing room and forcing her to put on the masculine outfit. However, it was the recollection of what happened while Setsuna was changing that always brought a massive rush of blood to her cheeks.

This would be when the mage princess decided to check on her-using the excuse that Setsuna was taking too long-and _**coincidentally**_ got an eyeful of the swordswoman…half naked. _'Ah, such nostalgia…'_ The half demon thought sarcastically as she numbly recognized the sound of Mana chuckling lowly in the background. A vein pulsated on Setsuna's forehead before hissing.

"Is there something funny, _**Queen Kong**_?" The gun mistress abruptly halted her chortling as an aggravated scowl graced her tan features, _'she's got __**one more**__ time to call me that…'_ Mana warned inwardly with venom practically dripping from her thoughts. No further words escaped the upset tan protector as her frown continued to darken.

Judging the sudden muteness as a small victory, Setsuna replied cheekily with her back still facing the upset shrine maiden.

"What's wrong? Pussy Cat got _**your**_ tongue?" Expecting an equally as snarky comeback-and maybe some violence in the mix-but only receiving further silence, Setsuna finally turned to direct a lightly confused stare at Mana.

Setsuna's eyes widened as a sweat drop beaded down the side of her head, _'oh shit…'_ Cautiously raising her trembling hands and taking a step away; the Hanyou's back bumped against the wall with a low thud as she mumbled nervously.

"H-hey now, don't be stupid, M-Mana-San." The gunslinger's dangerously narrowed irises burned holes into Setsuna's vulnerable form as she aimed her weapon threateningly. A low and malicious whisper traveled sharply through the tense atmosphere.

"You brought this on yourself, bird brain. No one-and I mean _**no one**_-calls me Queen Kong and lives afterwards…"

Setsuna gulped as her onyx pupils landed on her Yuunagi resting against a wall on the other end of the room. Returning her vision to the furious gun maniac in front of her; the Hanyou's voice rung with panic as she replied.

"L-Listen, Mana-San, it's just a joke. Y-You know that, right? No hard feelings, friend, buddy…a-amigo?" Setsuna trailed off anxiously as Mana's visage remained furiously solid; evidence that her words weren't reaching the gunslinger at all. The swordswoman's eyes shifted around frantically as she desperately tried to conjure up a way to appease her angered roommate. Performing a huge risk, Setsuna took a small step forward with her gaze never leaving Mana's own.

"Just…put it down, Mana-San…It isn't worth it." She asserted in a slightly firmer tone than before as her determined stare transferred between the weapon and Mana's scowl. The tan guardian's fingers flinched in momentary hesitation before her grip on the weapon tightened a bit-although the vengeful aura emitting from her entire body was gradually decreasing.

A beat of silence.

Mana sighed as she slowly lowered the banana.

Setsuna placed a hand over her heart in relief.

"You're lucky I'm feeling merciless today, bird brain." Mana growled as she took a bite of the yellow fruit with a huff. In response, Setsuna revealed a tiny smirk before declaring in a mockingly praising tone.

"Oh yes, how lucky I am to receive some kindness from our local Queen Kong-" Immediately ceasing her taunt to realize her slip-up, Setsuna opened her mouth to apologize but choked out a sound of surprise instead.

SPLAT!

Setsuna, who was crouching with her hands covering her head, peeked above to see a large mess of crushed banana splattered across the wall behind her. A flare of victory erupted in the Hanyou's chest as she sprung up to her feet and further examined the fruity disaster for a moment. Turning around with a broad smile, Setsuna laughed triumphantly.

"Hah! You mi-AGH!"

Another banana nailed Setsuna dead in the center of her face. The Hanyou's expression remained placid as gooey banana dripped down her countenance.

"…"

Four beats of silence.

Not even waiting for a retort, Mana casually removed her leather jacket from the coat rack and shoved her arms through the sleeves. Quirking an eyebrow expectantly at the immobile Hanyou-apparently pretending as if the banana assault had never even happened-Mana called questioningly.

"Well, are you coming bird brain? It's already fifteen 'til."

Placing both hands on her forehead and slowly dragging them down her face, Setsuna wiped off as much squashed banana as she could before unceremoniously dumping it onto the floor. A disturbingly sweet smile that could've gave any pastry-hater a cavity spread across Setsuna's face before declaring clearly.

"I hate you so much…"

"Ditto. Now let's go or we'll be late." Mana retorted calmly as her hand fidgeted impatiently with the door knob. Setsuna quickly jogged into the kitchen and splashed water on her face-cursing a particular shrine maiden under her breath as she did so. As she dried off with a small, kitchen towel and carelessly tossed it aside, Setsuna stood in front of Mana and asked uncertainly.

"Are you sure this is what people usually wear at a Comedy House?"

"Oh yeah, definitely" _'Not'_ Mana finished in her thoughts as a low, evil cackle emanated from her; causing the spooked swordswoman to simply nod in subtle terror.

"O-Okay then...Let's just uh, get this over with…" Every ounce of Setsuna's body language presented anxiety and reluctance as she slowly trailed behind Mana; the guardians' destination in mind being Bust a Gut…

* * *

"Please show up, please show up, please show up…" Jiro whispered under his breath in a frantic mantra as he continuously glanced at his wrist watch. The large brunette's form bounced anxiously as he stood behind the front counter and threw out rushed greetings for the multiple groups of eager customers pouring in. He removed the towel from his shoulder and began wiping the counter top-at a worrisome speed-in an attempt to distract himself from the gnawing anticipation…But for the love of Kami this was the fate of his precious business hanging in the balance here!

Buried deeply in his worries, the anxious manager's vision was downcast and glued to the counter top-which was probably beyond clean from his panic fueled cleaning.

"Oi, Jiro-San" A familiar voice called as Jiro's head practically snapped up at the sound of it; his chestnut irises wide with gleaming hope and excitement. The shine in those endearingly goofy pupils grew exponentially as Mana calmly strolled up to the front counter and rested her arms atop it.

"You made it!" Jiro commented giddily but then allowed his smile to falter a bit. Concerned almond orbs roamed their surroundings curiously before the large brunette enquired in a shaky tone.

"M-Mana-San…Where's your friend? Wasn't she supposed to be here?" The tan shrine maiden's brow raised a minor bit before they lowered once more in realization. Huffing to herself in exasperation, Mana turned around and stomped-quite audibly we may add-towards the building entrance. Jiro watched on in light bafflement as his regular customer trotted down the sidewalk and out of his sight; only to return moments later and dragging a passionately protesting Setsuna by the arm.

A muddled reaction of a sigh and chortle emanated from Jiro as the wacky pair approached him-Setsuna's heels helplessly digging into the frictionless hardwood floor.

"Please! D-don't make me do this Mana-San!" The Hanyou whined frantically as Mana continued to effortlessly pull along Setsuna-who resembled that of a small child being taken to the scary dentist for a thorough teeth cleaning.

"I-I'll pay you money! You like money, right?! Onegai, Queen Kong!" Setsuna's bargaining fell on deaf ears however as Mana grabbed her roommate by the shoulders and practically shoved her into the front desk; the poor bodyguard's upper stomach receiving the full blow as she collided into it. Jiro reeled back at the moment of impact; a twisted expression of sympathetic pain etched into his rough features.

"Gah!" Setsuna guffawed in agony as she doubled over and held her assaulted gut. Mana firmly placed her hands on her hips as she observed her fellow guardian pathetically huff in pain before muttering assertively.

"Stop acting like a damn child already. It won't kill you to do this you know." Setsuna, amidst her reeling pain, directed a seething glare at the gun mistress and murmured venomously.

"Won't kill me? You almost killed me just now you rabid monkey-"

"I've got more bananas just for that smart mouth of yours…" Mana warned lowly.

"O-on second thought I think I'm starting to feel _**much**_ better already." Setsuna rushed out nervously as she swiftly straightened her posture-struggling to conceal her throbbing pain but, due to the fear of experiencing another banana attack, was just capable enough to do so. Mana smirked to herself in satisfaction.

Jiro sweat dropped, _'they're still arguing about that banana thing?'_ The grudges these two friends-or rivals as Jiro believed-held between each other were so pointless at times. Awkwardly coughing into his fist, the large brunette quipped with a nervous chuckle.

"So I'm guessing ya not very excited to be here, huh?" An artificially sarcastic smile graced Setsuna's features as she muttered between clenched teeth.

"To put it lightly…I'd rather do the Cha-Cha Slide in public while wearing nothing but my underwear."

"Think it's worth the risk of being arrested for public display of nudity?" Mana chimed cheekily with a smug, lop-sided smirk. Setsuna narrowed her onyx orbs at the grinning gunslinger.

That is…until a heckler smile crept onto her lips.

"Nah, I think the cops would let it slide. Besides, they haven't pawned you yet for scaring those poor little kids with that face of yours-"

"_**Bananas!"**_ Mana hissed heatedly; resulting in Setsuna holding up her hands in a surrendering manner and feigning innocence. Jiro cracked a gap-toothed smile at the display; now absolutely sure that Setsuna's charisma and playful attitude is the key to saving his business.

"Girls, if I could have ya attention for a second?" He enquired weakly. Mana and Setsuna's keen ears were capable of detecting the sound however and-unnaturally ceasing in the middle of sentences that were on the verge of delivering a witty comment or insult-fully turned to face the middle aged man. With their undivided focus now on Jiro, he lightly tapped his wrist watch while delivering an expecting gaze at Setsuna.

"It's almost seven o' clock, young lady. I suggest you and Mana-San go find a table soon; one that's pretty far from the stage by the way." Setsuna raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Why does it have to be far from the stage?"

"Well," Jiro started while lulling his head to the side in momentary contemplation.

"There're some basic things about being a heckler. Although you did great last night, it was right in front of the stage where the comedian could easily see you."

"Why would it matter if they saw her?" Mana asked dully despite the fleeting traces of intrigue infecting her sharp eyes. Stepping out from behind the front counter and casually resting a hand against it, Jiro continued elaborating.

"That takes away from the funniness of it all. So let's say, we have your friend here heckle a comedian in broad light. Now compare that to when she's in the far back, hidden in the darkness…" The comedy house owner trailed off with a meaningful look; hoping that one of the girls would understand his logic and train of thought.

Fortunately, they did-if their simultaneous expressions of enlightenment were of any indication-and Setsuna chose to be the one to answer.

"It's funnier because the comedian is being insulted and doesn't even know which direction it's coming from. He or she gets frustrated and this just makes things even funnier for the crowd, right?" A proud and broad smile plastered onto Jiro's visage; which had strangely inundated Setsuna's form with pride as well.

"Bingo, young lady. Now, how about you girls go get comfortable?" Jiro offered kindly with an over exaggerated bow and sweep of his arm. Mana merely scoffed and rolled her eyes at this as she trotted off to find a booth cloaked in the shadows with Setsuna quite reluctantly following behind-hey, she's not exactly happy to be there, remember?

As the guardian duo seated themselves-establishing a gaping distance between each other since they're still sour from the previous bickering-Mana casually waved over a passing waitress.

This waitress just so happened to be Jiro's most faithful employee, Suki.

"Yes mam, how may I help you?" Suki asked politely with a menu pressed to her chest by one arm and an empty tray held in the other.

"I'd like the usual." The shrine maiden ordered robotically.

Suki blinked repeatedly.

A beat of silence.

"…The usual, mam?" Suki mumbled confusingly; as she was clearly unaware of what Mana's accustomed meal consisted of. However, the tan gun mistress reacted as if she foresaw this and dismissively waved her hand.

"Just tell your guys in the back that I ordered it; they'll know what I'm talking about." Then, swiftly pivoting to face her unhappy companion-and ignoring Suki's baffled nodding in the process-Mana revealed a sugary, cynical smile.

"Anything you want, Tweety?" Glumly resting her chin in her hand and not even sparing a glance at Mana; the Konoe bodyguard grumbled bitterly.

"No…" Setsuna's face momentarily scrunched up in thought before adding a split second later.

"And I hate you."

"Touché" Mana replied off-handedly before facing Suki once more-the poor waitress felt so uncomfortably around the eccentric duo-and stating in a mock polite tone.

"You'll have to excuse my guest's poor manners. She was practically born and raised in a cage like some cooped up chicken drugged with hormonal steroids."

A vein pulsed on Setsuna's head.

Suki sweat dropped.

"R-right…I'm j-just uh, gonna go get your…your u-usual." The uneasy waitress stuttered while slowly backing away. As soon as she was five feet away from the Mahora gun maniac, Suki swiftly spun on her heels and power walked to the front counter-greatly disturbed by the short interaction. Setsuna stared disapprovingly at Mana's relaxed apparel.

"Did you seriously have to creep her out like that?" In response, Mana shrugged indifferently while casually slinging an arm across the back of the leather booth seat.

"She'll get over it. Besides…you should be worrying less about the mentality of the employees and focus on the next comedian you'll be heckling." At the mention of her doomed fate for the night, an actually cloud of gloom hung over Setsuna's head as she sighed dejectedly.

"You know I would've been walked out of this place if I didn't feel so guilty about last night."

"You're stating the obvious again, bird brain." Mana muttered with a half-hearted smirk as her eyes remained glued to the stage.

Currently, a man who appeared to be in his late twenties was running low on both confidence and material-as if his beads of nervous sweat glistening in the spotlight wasn't clue enough.

"S-so who in here is from Tokyo? Man, I remember those days. I can still recall the smell of sweaty business men and polluted air…These aren't good memories, guys! Hahah!" To make his predicament even worse, the flunking comic slapped his knee with a haughty chain of laughter.

Setsuna blinked repeatedly; thoroughly baffled at the so-called joke. It was obvious that the swordswoman wasn't the only one thrown through a confused loop as she could literally hear crickets echoing throughout the silent building.

"Queen Kong…" She whispered uncertainly without tearing her gaze from the bombing comedian. Due to the fact that the shrine maiden was equally flabbergasted, Mana presented little annoyance at the nickname and replied distractedly.

"…Yeah?"

"…I don't get it. Where's the joke?"

"I…honestly don't know…" Finally taking a moment to cease his chuckling and absorb the audience's bland reaction, the failing comedian croaked out a nervous choke while tugging at his collar. His sweat output tripled.

"Hah...ha…I-I guess I'm the only one from Tokyo, h-huh…"

Further silence.

Stiffly performing the action, Setsuna slowly turned around in her seat and delivered a questioning stare at Jiro's distant form that evidently spoke: "What the hell did I just watch?"

Jiro was currently unable to acknowledge Setsuna's expression however…because he was too busy gently bonking his forehead against the front counter top in frustration. _'My Kami…this place's comedians are worse than I thought…'_ The bodyguard thought numbly as she returned her attention back to the stage. And to make that conclusion even worse, this was only the result of Bust a Gut's daytime comedians. She could only imagine how pathetic the afternoon crew must be. Releasing a deep sigh while plopping back into the booth seat; Setsuna muttered dully.

"And the verdict is-"

"This guy sucks." Mana finished with a similarly blank tone before leaning back alongside her fellow guardian. She then glanced over in the Hanyou's direction and stated matter-of-factly.

"Now you see why Jiro-San asked you to work here? These guys are as funny as, well, politics compared to you, bird brain." A slightly teasing aura emitted from Setsuna as she asked in fake pleasant surprise.

"Why, Mana-San…is that actually a _**compliment**_ that I hear coming from your mouth? It seems so surreal."

"Don't get used to it, smart mouth."

"Of course not"

"_**Okay then!"**_ Jiro's voice suddenly boomed across the room; catching Mana and Setsuna's attention-and also snapping most of the other customers out of their dozing spells. Setsuna managed to catch a glimpse of the previous comedian glumly trotting down the stage steps with his shoulders hunched forward in disappointment. The man may have been just as bad-okay, he was worse-as Saito, but Setsuna couldn't help but feel sympathy for the downtrodden comedian. _'Better luck next time…'_ She encouraged inwardly as the comedy house manager continued in a slightly apologetic and sheepish tone.

"A-and that, ladies and gentlemen, was the last of our daytime comedians! One more round of applause for Mino-San everyone!" Jiro revealed the smallest trace of a cringe as he heard only a select few of the customers clap-unenthusiastically we may add. Running on nothing more than pure pity, both Mana and Setsuna clapped meekly as well for Mino.

Suddenly, an upbeat instrumental composed of a jazzy rhythm blared from the speakers hanging in the farthest corners of the comedy parlor; instantly overflowing every single resident in the establishment with a mild sense of excitement. Jiro-who obviously registered the audience's subtle change of mood-smirked to himself before declaring loudly over the music.

"Alright everyone! Time to put away your milk and cookies and pull out those fruity margaritas! Take your morals, crush them up into a ball and toss it out the window! Any kids under the age of thirteen either cover your eyes and ears or just go home! Because it is now time..." As soon as he trailed off his last word, the music abruptly became replaced with a thundering drum roll and was only amplified by the customers eagerly banging on the tables-surprising Setsuna once she realized that Mana was doing so as well-along with the suspenseful beat. Mentally shrugging in indifference, the swordswoman also began beating on the table.

A deafening echo rippled through the atmosphere as everyone's movements halted perfectly in synchronization. Jiro's smirk widened into that signature gap-toothed smile of his as he inhaled deeply and bellowed into the golden microphone.

"FOR OUR AFTER HOURS COMEDIAN CREW!" A roar of applause and whistles rang from the crowd; practically causing the tables and Setsuna's actual body to tremor from the power behind it. _'Wow, I've got a great bunch here tonight!'_ Jiro thought excitedly as he could also feel the stage floor quake beneath his sneaker clad feet.

As soon as the noise died down a few notches, the large brunette directed a meaningful glance towards the back of the crowd before quickly looking away. Although it was entirely too dark for Jiro to spot any distinct faces in the audience, Setsuna and Mana knew all too well that the stare was meant for the Hanyou. A smug time-to-face-the-music smirk graced the shrine maiden's features as she glanced at Setsuna's slightly peeved visage.

"Kicking off our night is none other than the grand ole veteran of comedy, everyone's favorite grumpy next door neighbor, owner of the shiniest fake teeth money can buy…ladies and gentlemen give a warm welcome to Gato Sanjiki!" Initially, the crowd had emitted a round of applause as asked by Jiro, but then became infected with random bouts of chortling as Gato walked onto the stage-wait, that was a lie.

Gato didn't walk onto the stage…

He waddled up to the front stage; his form hunched slightly forward with a sour scowl on his wrinkled face. Almost all of his hair was non-existent except for the scarce strands decorating the sides of his shining cranium. He wore a pair of glasses with ridiculously thick lenses, a blue and white Hawaiian shirt, light beige shorts and flip flops; freely exposing his untrimmed and gnarly toenails.

Due to the fact that Setsuna believed in respecting elders, she had to firmly place a hand over her mouth to muffle her amused giggles. This old man's expression and movements were just too hilarious. Apparently, Mana didn't share the same morals as the Konoe bodyguard and freely laughed at Gato's lop-sided shuffling around.

Jiro simply offered the microphone to Gato, only for the crabby old man to rudely snatch it from the brunette manager and grumbled into it.

"Outta my way ya hulking brute! And where's the stool?! I can't stand up forever on this damn stage!" Stronger waves of laughter exploded from the crowd as Jiro-seeming to not be affected by Gato's insulting command-obediently pulled out a stool from backstage and set it behind the aged comedian. Gato grunted as he watched Jiro wordlessly exit the stage and resume his duties of delivering the customer's their food orders. Gato plopped unceremoniously onto the stool.

"Oi, that's much better! My bunions were killing me!" Gato showed little reluctance as he took off his flip flops and wiggled his toes with a relieved expression. He then cracked an eye at the audience and stated.

"Judge me all ya want, youngsters! I've lost all motivation to care as soon I got married!" Ignoring the scattered chortles that traveled from his onlookers, Gato shifted in his seat to face forward and continued.

"Let me tell you something! Back in my day, I used to have a motto! That motto was to not do drugs, don't drink alcohol and don't anything stupid…on weekends." A smile formed on Setsuna's face as she listened intently; feeling more than relieved at the fact that Gato wasn't too terrible. If everything worked out in her favor, then maybe she won't have to heckle anyone tonight.

"And last but not least…do _**not**_ get married!" The guardian duo quirked an eyebrow; momentarily thrown off by Gato's last-and not to mention greatly emphasized-statement.

"Marriage sucks you nitwits! You think that woman is the most perfect thing in the world and then as soon you put that ring on her finger-BOOM! She gets ya! She goes changin' all willy nilly on ya!" Gato held up his hands and wiggled his fingers creepily as if the bi-polar woman he was speaking of was a ghost story. The old man was definitely passionate during his performances.

"Men you know I'm tellin' the truth! What do ya expect when ya come downstairs in the mornings? Ya expect to see ya new _**beloved**_ wife humming a pretty little tune while standing on the stove, cooking a big ole breakfast! Looking as beautiful as she did yesterday…So why the hell am I seeing her lying across the couch eating chocolates and watching Oprah with big rollers in her hair and got this green stuff smeared across her face?!" Gato looked genuinely baffled, as if he still hadn't found the answer to his question all those decades ago. He received a handful of hardy giggles from the audience; most of them coming from the males.

Setsuna and Mana traded knowing glances between each other; as they both had a feeling that Gato was a man quite fond of belittling females. The crow Hanyou groaned in her mind, _'so much for keeping it peaceful tonight…'_

"Guys I was about to actually get my axe and chop her down cuz I thought that was some big ass mutant lizard thing eating all of my damn chocolate!" Gato then leaned forward a bit and raised a finger to point at the audience before muttering gravely.

"And men…as if I couldn't have gotten more confused, she actually turned to _**me**_ and asked what am _**I**_ going to cook for breakfast!" Several men in the audiences busted into frantic fits of laughter while the Mahora protectors felt a vein pulse on their foreheads.

Remember how earlier we established the fact that Setsuna always tried to respect elderly people?

Gato has just become an immediate exception.

"Well aren't you a just a charming, flakey little prune." Setsuna grumbled monotonously; not really expecting the aged comedian to hear her over the noise of the crowd anyways.

Oh how wrong she was.

"Oi!" Gato shrieked shakily as his vision surveyed the obscured space before him.

"Who had the _**jewels**_ to say that?! Say it to my face, punk!" A strained giggle escaped Setsuna as she witnessed the old man's crazed looking about. Now she completely understood-and appreciated-Jiro's advice about heckling a comedian in the darkness. Serving as the swordswoman's final boost of motivation to get to work on teasing Gato, Mana chuckled impishly while nudging Setsuna's arm with her elbow.

"Go for it." She whispered deviously.

A heckler smile appeared on Setsuna's face.

"Sorry, I would but I don't think your hearing-aid will pick it up!" Just like the bodyguard's last heckling experience, 'Oos' floated in the air at her witty comeback. An awkward mixture of an enraged-but weak-shriek and grumble escaped Gato as he angrily fidgeted in his seat; ancient eyes still scanning his surroundings for the location of the taunting individual.

"You wanna piece of me?! Don't think because I'm old that I can't kick some ass-"

"Oh please. You couldn't even bring your leg up high enough to kick my _**ankle**_ if you wanted to." Setsuna replied automatically with an eye roll; her smile never wavering amidst the argument.

Now Gato's blood boiled.

Acting as if the action would signal that he's about to get serious; the livid senior yanked off his large glasses and yelled.

"Then come on up here so we can find out, dag nabit!"

"Naw, I don't need any clarification." Strangled fits of laughter erupted around Setsuna since most of the customers felt just a silver of guilt for feeling amusement at the sight of Gato's agitated expression.

"Let me tell you somethin' _**chump**_!" The old man hollered heatedly.

"Back in my day," _'Oh Kami you're setting yourself up old man…'_ Setsuna drawled inwardly with a smirk.

"We didn't hide in the dark during arguments like some…some chump! We handled it face-to-face like real men!" The swordswoman quirked an eyebrow before thinking sarcastically, _'well, he has quite the broad vocabulary, doesn't he?'_ Also, she couldn't help but notice that Gato had seemingly assumed that she was a guy-should be offended or cackling about that? Brushing her brief musings aside, she then leaned forward to rest her clasped hands on the table and enquire in a feigned curious tone.

"Hmm…I see. So this is how things worked back in your day? When was that; the 1500s?"

That line just about destroyed Mana-including the entire comedy house and Jiro-as the shrine maiden finally allowed her will power to break and surrendered herself to guffawing loudly off to the side of the booth seat. Her tan fist lightly banged against the table as the fervent giggles racked her whole body.

It looks like the response had practically obliterated Gato as well as he screeched furiously while breaking out into a hysterical, rapid shuffle of his flip-flop clad feet. It resembled as if it was a strange combination of indecisive movements; was he about to sit down? Was he about to run off? Was he going to jump? Was he going into cardiac arrest-Setsuna hoped not. Or was he just doing the traditional, funky jig of an angry Irish elf?

"Awww, it looks like somebody stole his Lucky Charms…" Setsuna mocked with a pouty expression.

With perfect timing, Jiro hurriedly paced onto the stage and held back Gato from personally exiting the stage and begin his vengeful search for the mystery heckler. The manager's thick arms wrapped around Gato's shoulders in attempt to calm him down, but this move only heightened the old comedian's temper as he immediately directed his rage at Jiro. As series of swift-not to mention sissy-slaps rained down on Jiro as Gato shrieked.

"Unhand me hoodlum!"

"Sir please calm down!" Jiro pleaded in between each weak strike-although he still tried his damn hardest to dodge them-before he stealthily removed the microphone from Gato's grasp. With the angered senior's wrath still being bestowed upon him, the struggling brunette announced into the microphone.

"O-one more round of applause for Gato-San everybody! Will you stop it?!" He yelled desperately towards the end as Gato landed one last hit on Jiro before huffing to himself. Straightening his blue and white Hawaiian in an attempt to reestablish the dignity he never had, Gato-strutting in that oh so attractive limping fashion of his-noisily descended the stage steps.

Setsuna lowered her head; releasing a chain of triumphant giggles.

She could feel that familiar, victorious sensation coursing through her veins again and dag nabit it was stronger than ever.

There once lived a Big Bad Wolf who was in the middle of an enchanted forest and sitting on a plush bush. He blew his snout into a hankie as tears continued to flow down his furry cheeks. Sitting across from him and serving as a pair of listening ears was Red Riding Hood; nodding solemnly in understanding with every bark and growl she heard-although she had no idea what he was saying. The Wolf then pointed at the casts on his right arm and leg; which were nearly clawed to death by his bunny veterinarian because of his dirtied lab coat.

Needless is to say that there weren't any more appointments made after that.

At first Red Riding Hood didn't understand, but then connected the dots as Wolf made bunny ears above his head with his finger-like paws. Red Riding Hood gasped in sympathy while covering her mouth with both hands; as she couldn't believe that such a friendly woodland creature could do that to poor Wolf. She automatically concluded that either this bunny had rabies and was crazy as hell or…Wolf just got his ass kicked by a harmless rabbit.

Suddenly, a small, adorable squirrel scurried onto the Wolf's leg cast and looked up at the sobbing canine curiously; which was accented by a tilt of his cute little head. The Big Bad Wolf growled irritably as his distaste clearly spoke: "What're you looking at?" On the other hand, Red Riding Hood cooed at the sight as she tried to gently pet it with a single finger; only for the squirrel to inch away from her and father up the Wolf's cast.

A puff of smoke.

Run Big Bad Wolf…just run for your life man.

Instead of being smart and taking our advice, the Wolf simply wailed tears of fear as Setsuna appeared before him with a dopey smile. She waved a bit too optimistically: "Hey Wolf! How're the medications treating you?"

In response, the Wolf only thrashed around even more violently; spooking the little squirrel on his cast. A demonic growl suddenly emanated for the tiny animal as it pulled out a large acorn out of nowhere-this acorn happened to have a very sharp point to it-and threw it at the Wolf. Like a dagger burying itself into a tree, the acorn stabbed the Big Bad Wolf right in between the eyes; just deep enough not to kill him but it sure did hurt like hell. Setsuna sweat dropped as the Wolf howled in agony and fell backwards off the bush: "Oh my Kami…the squirrel is a fucking ninja!"

Red Riding Hood tried to quickly get up and run away…but the squirrel was having none of that. With abnormal speed, the mini-ninja launched at Riding Hood and latched his buck, razor teeth onto her arm. Now Riding Hood shrieked in agony. Amongst the entire altercation, Setsuna took the liberty of slowly pacing backwards; now thoroughly afraid that she would be the squirrel's next target: "O-okay then. I'll just, uh…go now…"

Just as Setsuna snapped her fingers, she heard Red Riding Hood yell in distress: "Get it off me, get it off me, get it off me! Granny help me!"

A puff of smoke.

"…What was even the point of that?" Setsuna whispered to herself in bafflement; these fantasy parodies were going in directions that the Hanyou honestly couldn't follow.

"What was that?" Mana asked distractedly as her and Setsuna stood in front of a very satisfied Jiro.

"O-oh uh, nothing…" The bodyguard babbled sheepishly while carelessly scratching her cheek. The gun mistress rolled her eyes before directing the brunette manager an expectant stare.

"So? You said you were gonna give bird brain something?" As if he had just now remembered, Jiro's contented smile was replaced with immediate recognition as he shuffled through a compartment behind the front counter.

"Right! Well, young lady, since you officially work for Bust a Gut now…" Standing straight once more, Jiro eagerly presented Setsuna with a particular, thin sheet of paper.

"I figured you go ahead and get an idea of what the pay is like."

Setsuna's onyx orbs widened.

Pay? As in paying with money pay? That kind of pay?

Using as much politeness as her stunned form could allow, Setsuna slowly took hold of the check and raked her vision over it.

The Hanyou could've sworn her jaw hit the floor. Peeking nosily over the swordswoman's shoulder, Mana's mouth also gaped at the money amount; suddenly feeling a small flare of jealousy against Setsuna. Jiro smirked in amusement at the girls' silent, astonished countenances; knowing full well that it would reel in Setsuna for sure.

"Q-queen Kong…" The raven-haired bodyguard muttered numbly.

"…That's a lot of money for just one day…" Mana mumbled as her head unconsciously tilted to the side-apparently this check was a beautiful piece of abstract artwork to the shrine maiden. Seeking no effort in repressing the massive waves of gratitude leaking from her smile, Setsuna huffed to herself in disbelief before locking her gaze with Jiro's.

"J-Jiro-San…This is so much. I couldn't possibly-"

"Nope! I don't wanna hear it." Jiro interjected with a raised hand. He then flashed his gap-toothed smile.

"Just think of it as a preview. It could actually be higher if you're any funnier next time."

"And when is that?" Setsuna asked eagerly.

Mana and Jiro traded meaningful grins.

"Does that mean you'll work here?" Jiro asked as his formed puffed up with the aura of pre-mature celebration. Switching her gaze between the pay amount and Mana and Jiro's encouraging expressions; all forms of inhibitions momentarily left Setsuna as she declared calmly.

"It sure does."

"Finally/Yatta!" Mana and Jiro cheered as they threw their arms up-Mana doing so more out of relieved exasperation and Jiro out of pure joy.

"But don't you think about telling anyone at school, Mana-San…" Setsuna warned lowly with her eyes narrowing at the aloof gun mistress. Mana shrugged indifferently.

"Hey, I said that was your job wasn't it? My lips are shut…So, how are you gonna spend your fist check, Tweety?" _'Well first I'm gonna see if I can get you thrown into a zoo.'_ Is what Setsuna was about to say but then held her tongue as another much more appealing idea came to her mind. A smile much more sincere and pure than her heckler smirk appeared across her face.

"I know what I'm gonna do." A knowing grin graced Mana's tan features; as she also had a guess about what her fellow guardian planned to do with the money. However, Jiro was the only clueless individual; but it was highly doubted that he cared. All that mattered is that his business was going to be more popular than it's ever been…

* * *

Okay that's all for now! I truly do hope that you guys found this entertaining enough! And if you didn't, then I truly apologize. I promise to work harder next chapter! XD

So for now, I ask of you to please...

CLICK THE REVIEW BUTTON -.-


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